Relief!

I am very pleased to report that my anxiety has ratcheted down about ten notches. I had a wonderful conversation with the dietitian yesterday about my transition anxiety, the importance of talk therapy, my "Optifast perfectionism", and a host of other things I have been worrying about. I am very, very blessed to go to a clinic with an outstanding staff who fully understand the "big picture" when it comes to weight loss and maintenance. I am firmly committed to continue with bi-weekly visits with the dietitian after I go into maintenance. It will cost about $35 per visit, but it will be worth every penny.

I was given an overview of the six-week Optifast transition plan I began following last night. This week, I am to have four products and then for dinner 4 oz. of protein and 1 cup uncooked vegetables (or 1/2 cup cooked). I have to tell you, just having the plan calmed me right down. Most of my transition anxiety is actually fear of leaving the "safety" of the products, and fear that I will lose control and gain all my weight back. It is all fear-based. It is also "future thinking" and if I engage in that, I get into trouble every time. So it's right back to living in the "now" for me.

Yes, as I predicted in my last entry, I had a small gain. I weighed in at 160 lbs., but I took it all in stride and I am very proud of myself. When I let go of that second goal of 150 lbs. I set, and just stick with my original 160 lb. goal, I immediately feel an incredible sense of relief. So 160 lbs. it shall be. Now, I have several Optifast friends who have lost additional weight in transition and/or maintenance, and perhaps that's in store for me too. But if not, I'll still be happy. I'm considering "Phase 1" to now be coming to an end. It's soon onward to maintenance -- and all the hard work that entails.

My husband told me he wants to do something himself to improve his life. Not weight loss -- he is not overweight -- but something big and rewarding. He is calling me his "motivational source." I like that! I am ever-so-slowly getting my mind around the fact that I have shed 80 lbs. Good Lord! That is unbelievable. Sometimes I cannot believe I have actually achieved this. As you know very well by now, I dwell in my head quite a bit, and I really need to just stand in front of a full-length mirror and take a good, long look. And then pat myself on the back for everything I have accomplished. I don't praise myself enough, and I will be working on that. With my therapist, with the dietitian, and through my writing. I'm excited about the personal growth that will ultimately transpire.

I continue to hunt for resources on "emotional eating" and food anxiety. I will be sure to pass the information I find on to you. Thanks to all my Optifast friends, family and everyone on the Facebook Optifast Support page for your support, praise and pick-me-ups. You mean the world to me. I am not alone and that is so wonderful to know.