The Commitment

I have been reading on our Optifast Facebook page about people struggling to stick with the Optifast program. This isn't surprising -- it's extremely rigid. This is not something for those wanting instant results overnight. Patience is a necessity. Strong self-discipline is required. Willpower does come into play and in my opinion, there is one thing you must have: a 100% commitment to the program. No ifs, ands or buts.

This means no "cheating." Following the clinic's directions for drinking at least 64 oz. of water a day. Starting on an exercise program -- no matter how slow in the beginning. And attending the fantastic educational sessions that teach us how to eat healthy in the long run. Our entire relationship with food and living as we knew it is going to radically change. For the better, and in some cases, to save our lives. This is the end goal -- a healthy, new you forever -- that you must always keep in mind. If you don't, chances are you will fail.

Let me step back a bit and reflect on why I started all of this in the first place. Steadily gaining weight over a ten year period, I was now having back pain just from walking. I think we can all agree this is a major problem. If you can't walk ... well, warning signs should be going off loudly. Every year, my clothing size would increase. Sadly, I'd pack away all the beautiful clothes I bought the year before, and then go spend more money on a new wardrobe. What a waste.

I never exercised and spent my days and evenings sitting on my butt. What is one of the top reasons for obesity? A sedentary lifestyle. And I was living it. My bad cholesterol was through the roof. My favorite rings no longer fit. And then I got to the point where I could no longer look myself in the mirror. And that was when I'd ultimately had enough. Have you reached this "breaking point" like I did? In a way, it was a "rock bottom." I was sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Things had to change.

My commitment to the Optifast program was born from this bottom. I made a promise to myself -- and tangentially to my husband and family -- that I was going to get a grip on this problem once and for all. Inside, I knew if I were going on a diet, I would need a routine and my food choices made for me. It was and is that simple. I needed support and supervision. But most of all, if I was going to succeed, I needed to be dedicated.

Optifast offers all of these needs except one: the dedication, the commitment. That has to come from me. No one can give it to me. I didn't have to dig too deep to find it. Others may have to. I've got other challenges -- I lose weight much more slowly than others. But regardless, I stay focused on the ultimate prize: the healthy me. I do not wish to go through this program again. I don't want to descend back into the dark place. Knowing this, I take my "One Day At A Time" approach, and it is working.

And let me leave you on a lighter note: ever add up all the money you are spending on Optifast products, doctor visits and lab work? Yikes! In this day and age, who can afford throwing away that money on something that can't work if you are not dedicated to it? Not me! Doesn't that keep you motivated just a little bit?

Optifast works. We know this. But only if directions are followed and we stay focused. You can do it!  

Optifasting On The Road

Ocoee River, Copperhill, TN (Melissa, center right)

Out of the blue, my husband announced last week he wanted to go hiking and white water rafting in Tennessee over Memorial Day weekend. What? I had two days to find us a cabin near the Smokies, locate a river, research hiking in Great Smoky Mountains National Park, and figure out how in the heck we get to these locations. I pulled it all off -- by the skin of my teeth.

Of course I was quite nervous about how the holiday getaway would affect my Optifast routine. And my worries proved to be well-founded. Much juggling was required but I did succeed -- to some extent. Driving down to Tennessee on Friday (a 7 hour trip), I made sure we stopped at rest stops so I could make my shakes throughout the day. But then we got held up in a huge traffic jam, and we did not get to the cabin until 9:00 p.m. that night. By the time I got to my dinner soup, it was 10:00 p.m. So I was off to an altered plan from the beginning.

Saturday was our rafting trip, and I knew I could not be making my shakes, so I packed Optifast bars in my purse. I had purchased a box from the clinic before I left (even though I have eaten them like candy in the past). I ate them throughout the day, but found myself ravenous when we got back to the cabin. Instead of having a lower calorie shake, I reached right for another bar. These, I have found, are my weakness. The same thing happened on Sunday when we went hiking. I ate more bars than allowed -- but I was again ravenous after a three-mile hike, half of it on an incline.

Monday we drove home and I was relieved that I could return to my familiar, comfortable routine. I had my rest stop shakes and we were home by 4:00 p.m., so my soup and jello were eaten on schedule. What a relief. Don't get me wrong, I loved the trip and plan on taking more week-end getaways this summer. But these impact our Optifast eating schedule and some maneuvering and flexibility is definitely required.

Now, my weigh-in is tomorrow and obviously I'm nervous. Will I have no loss? A gain? But in the scheme of things, does it really matter? I had a fabulous time with my husband in a very beautiful part of the country. I stuck to my plan for the most part. I got good exercise. No need to get myself worked up over tomorrow! I have experience now with "Optifasting On The Road." And that's good knowledge to have. So where to next? Stay tuned!

   

Inch By Inch

Last week I woke up one day, got dressed for work, and my pants felt really loose. It was as if I shrunk over night. Sure, I've lost 20 lbs., but it hadn't been really affecting my overall size -- yet. So I was surprised, but was running late. I had no time to find a belt, and just dashed out the door with a long sweater. Which was a good thing, in hindsight.

Mid-way through the morning, my pants started slipping down my hips. I'm sure my underwear was showing in the back. Thank God for the sweater! How did this happen? I was completely shocked. In a pleasant way, believe me! Here a week later, they are even looser. I get weighed in two days and I can pretty much guarantee that I have not lost more than 3 lbs. So what's going on then with the Incredible Shrinking Body?

I think it's time for me to ask the clinic to take my measurements again. They do this before you begin the program. We haven't done an update and it may be time. I believe my frustration with the slower weight loss may be lessened if I am showing inches shed. What a morale booster!

This could be yet another example of why we shouldn't be so obsessed with that number on the scale. Doing Optifast makes you feel better in general, as your body de-toxes. People can safely wean off of high blood pressure, cholesterol and other medications. And one loses inches that are measured separately. You get more energy. In short, we get our lives back!

Yes, I will be weighed and measured (in that order) this week. I'm excited to see the results!

Garden of Delights

It was beautiful outside today and I spent the day with my husband doing something I love to do: gardening. I purchased plants, we tilled the soil, and when we were done with everything we were sweaty, dirty and tired. It was wonderful.

At the nursery, I selected several vegetables. Three kinds of tomatoes, red peppers, cucumbers, broccoli and assorted hot peppers. These are for my husband -- the vegetable garden is his domain which is good, as I have no green thumb. For me, I selected herbs for my soups: dill, oregano and basil. And for the window boxes, I bought beautiful burgundy petunias, purple and green coleus and the filler "limelight." I have several more containers that need annuals, but I like to make my purchases over time. "Bulk" buying is a little too overwhelming for me.

The gardening gave me the opportunity to set my Optifast worrying aside and focus on a pleasurable project -- one that will delight us all throughout the summer. I had worked myself into quite a frenzy of frustration last night over my slow rate of weight loss. What a relief to set that aside and spend a sunny day with my husband doing something we enjoy so much.

I was thinking tonight how gardening and my weight loss have something in common: they take patience. Our tomatoes are only two inches tall -- but in time will grow into lush, fruit-bearing plants. I have many pounds to lose, but they will be dropping off over the summer, bit by bit, in tandem with the tomato plant growth. I need to be patient as I watch for these changes, knowing that the end result will be a glorious prize.

I am looking forward to warm evenings spent out on the patio, surrounded by living color. We are creating our own "living canvas" to enjoy in the months to come. Yes, it was a very, very good day.

The Precious Present

In between my weigh-ins, I've been spending a lot of time fretting about what will happen to me when I come off the liquid products. I have ignored the very sound advice of "staying in the present." The past is history, the future is a mystery and if we jump backward or forward we miss out on all the wonderful things each day has to offer.

It is beautiful outside today and I have many reasons to feel grateful. I have lost almost 20 lbs. and I feel good. I am more flexible and my back doesn't hurt anymore. My clothes are loose -- I'm wearing belts now -- and although it's not time to begin buying new clothes, that day will come. I have adjusted to the Optifast program well. I am comfortable with my routine. And I like the products.

I have made many new friendships as I move through the program. I am in touch with not only people living in the United States but in other countries as well. These friendships are something I treasure deeply, and never expected when I decided to start on the Optifast program. I am not alone as I navigate my weight loss journey and I have people I can talk to about my triumphs (and occasional frustrations). And I can count on their support when things get rough.

I have time to look for healthy recipes to cook for my husband (my "taste test subject"), and to see if he likes them. I have subscribed to low-calorie cooking magazines and I am beginning to browse through them for ideas. I am starting to get excited about the possibility of creating a culinary masterpiece that is actually low in calories. I am going to purchase a 3-ring binder soon that I can use for a new collection of healthy recipes.

I have a loving, supportive husband who is graciously allowing me to spend the money on this effective, but expensive, weight management program. He loves me no matter what size I am, but he understands that I want to and need to be healthy again. He compliments me all the time and that makes me feel so good. I love him very, very much.

And of course I have my children -- my two Basset Hounds -- who keep me going with their undying affection and loyalty. They are alive and well today and that is a blessing. So I'm a happy woman today. And that's a wonderful thing. Yes, the present is indeed quite precious.

Attack Of The Shrimp

So I have been cooking for my husband daily, whilst I have my Optifast products, with no problem. I have prepared his dinners for weeks and never once had any urge to taste my handiwork. Until today. It was the Bombay Shrimp. And it almost did me in!

It's not as if today was any different from another. I had my shakes as usual, my water, and I was chewing gum whilst I cooked (recommendation from the clinic). I had my chicken soup, which I love, lined up and ready to go. This is our ritual -- I prepare and serve his food and then make my soup and sit and eat with him. But just after I put his serving in a bowl, it struck.

Look at all those extra shrimp in the pan. Plump and pink. Fragrant. Popping just one in my mouth would be so easy...Wait. Stop the insanity! I immediately threw the lid on the pan and pushed it to the back burner.

The Mistake: I made too much food for him to eat. He does not need his leftovers tomorrow. Yet I prepared a dish for two people. The original recipe resulted in four servings so I halved it, thinking I would give him a hearty serving. It was a shrimp dish, after all, and he loves shrimp. But although I filled his bowl, there was plenty left over. Danger!

Once I had my soup and my final shake for the day, I was satiated and back in control. But I am a little rattled by the experience. Particularly because it was unexpected. I guess I'm one who doesn't like surprises -- I like to have a daily routine that is familiar. My takeaway from this incident is I must make certain I limit the amount of food I serve and I need to have an awareness of the possibility that I might get a strong solid food craving at any time. No matter how well things have been going.

My two biggest fears are lapsing in the program and gaining all my weight back. Yes, I will forgive myself if either happens. There's no point berating yourself for weight gain. Most struggle with it, whether they are on Optifast or not. But I do so want to succeed. I have never wanted anything so much. To be free of this extra weight. To no longer be considered "obese." To be healthy.

This said, today I commit myself even more strongly to my program. I will work hard to continue to have the success I have had throughout my journey. Day by day, month by month, my goal will materialize if I work for it.



    

Telling On Ourselves

Truth Telling

In my program, we go into the clinic once a week to get weighed, see the nutritionist and see the doctor. There is also an educational session where handouts are distributed. To date, most of them have dealt with long-term healthy weight maintenance -- which I like because I am very, very sensitive about regaining my weight after all of the work I have put in to lose it.

In the meeting with the nutritionist, you are asked some basic questions like, "Are you drinking your water? Exercising? Following the guidelines for your product consumption?" In other words, are you doing everything required to stick to our program? This is the point of reckoning. This is where we need to make our "confession" regarding cheats, not taking all of your products because you think you might lose more, admitting that you might have fallen off the exercise wagon, etc.

Some may chose not to answer honestly, but I advise everyone to "come clean" and get these incidents off of your chest. We are human after all! Optifast is rigid, restrictive, and at times frustrating. I had a moment last weekend where I started to really question just what in the heck I was doing. Why was I committed to be on a liquid diet for months and months? I must be nuts. Can I really do this? I found myself full of doubts. Fortunately, this questioning passed and I was right back on track. I relayed this to the nutritionist who let me know that most people go through this at one time or another. I am not alone.

As they say, honesty is the best policy. Though we may receive some stern counseling in return, it is always in our best interest and done to help us make it to our goal weight. I know to date I have not cheated with regular food, but that does not mean it won't happen in the future. If I do, I know what to do: admit it to the nutritionist, get back on track and put the incident behind me.

I believe we take control back and successfully kick-start our program again with the admission. Fessing up may be uncomfortable at first, but smooth sailing can follow. We make mistakes and that is okay. Let's go easy on ourselves. We deserve it.

Stair Stepper

I had my biannual visit with my thyroid doctor today. He shared a wealth of information regarding weight loss for those on Optifast with low metabolic rates. If you have a low metabolic rate (mine is 1330) as opposed to a "normal"  metabolic rate of 1850, you may be noticing that you are not dropping as much weight per week as others are. Which is frustrating. But such is our situation.

Our weight loss chart will typically look like stairs: a loss then some stabilization, a loss then some stabilization. Others without our condition will have a steady "arc" going downwards. On the plus side, we will see a significant loss in inches -- which means loose clothes! -- but on the other side, we must exercise patience as we work to achieve our pound loss goal.

I have had to adjust my initial expectations as to how long I will be on the Optifast program. Like many I'm sure, I thought I would be through things in just a few months (I started with 80 lbs. to lose). But my doctor has told me otherwise. I am not, however, to stop. He was the one who alerted me in the first place to my budding obesity. My progress has been wonderful and we know it will continue. But I am a little bit disappointed. By my rough calculations, I will still be on the Optifast products well into the Fall. Oh well.

If your weight loss has been quite slow and you have not had your thyroid levels checked, I personally recommend you have that done. I take medication for mine and it makes me feel good. The thyroid is the Master Gland, after all, and it behooves us to make sure it is functioning properly. If you do see a thyroid doctor, I also suggest that you let them know you are on the Optifast program. Always good to keep all of our doctors in the loop!

Today I will accept my body for what it is.

Keeping It Simple

Today I was thinking how glad I am that I am limited to Optifast products until I reach my goal. To be honest, I'm afraid of food right now -- well, maybe not fearful but certainly wary of how I typically behave around food. I'll pretty much try anything once and I don't put the brakes on when I eat. I've been this way my entire life. But for now, that's a thing of the past.

I have never, ever been on a diet before. I have gone through phases of intense physical activity, and that did result in satisfactory weight loss, but I still ate heartily along the way. I have no experience with counting calories, keeping a food journal, reading nutrition labels and following the food pyramid. I have never tried Slim Fast or other over-the-counter weight loss products nor have I enrolled in Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers. This is all foreign to me. All of this would wreck my "relationship" with my beloved food. Why put an arrow through its heart?

But in the past ten years, since I have been married, things have crept out of control. Not only did I place no restrictions on what I ate, I also grew to embrace a sedentary lifestyle. I just "grew into" this situation. Quite easily, I might add. Portion sizes started increasing. I would spend hours preparing complicated dishes, only to eat them at record speed once served. When I wasn't cooking or eating, I was sitting on my bum watching cooking shows on TV. Food, it seemed, was starting to consume me, not vice versa.

In order to end this insanity, enter Optifast. The food choices are made for me. I eat when I am supposed to. All of my nutritional needs are met. It's simple. And I'm safe. Perhaps that's the beauty of Optifast -- the sense of security that comes from having your meal plan mapped out for you. I'm not someone who wants to fret about calorie counting and fat percentages right now. My former relationship with food needs some unraveling and I've got some breathing room now to do that.

I like keeping things simple. Lots of us have trouble achieving this. Thanks Optifast for taking the complexity out of my eating equation. What a relief.


      

A Night On The Town!

Tonight was a very special one for me. My husband took me out to a jazz show! He decided this morning that we needed to do something, get out of the house, go out on the town. He located a show on the Ohio State University campus and off we went to catch the performance at 8:00 p.m.

For once, I was able to go out and actually enjoy myself without having the evening revolve around food. It was music this time and what a show it was. I had a wonderful time. Before starting Optifast, our evenings out always consisted of going to a nice restaurant. That is how we spent our time, hopping from place to place, eating huge helpings of rich food. And when I was at home cooking, I would be making huge helpings of rich food. So we were basically eating our way in high style through every day of the week.

But tonight was different. To spend a night out listening to good music rather than loud conversations in an intimate restaurant was such a refreshing change. I am reminded, however, of the work that lies ahead of me when I transition from Optifast to solid food. This is going to be a huge change. I will need to have things to do that don't involve eating out at restaurants all the time. Fortunately, I have some months to prepare for this -- and see more live music and some plays along the way.

I'm excited to explore all the different cultural things my city has to offer! Yet another benefit from doing Optifast. This program is the gift that keeps on giving!

Some Bumps In The Road

Cheats

Yes, Optifast is a very strict program and I have hit some ruts along my journey. My biggest one was purchasing a box of the Optifast bars. Peanut butter chocolate, to be exact. After my first bite, I was addicted to them. Instead of using them as they are intended -- as a meal replacement -- I would eat them at night on top of my five meals that make up my program. I saw them as a late-night "treat" -- quite similar to the sweets I would binge on late into the evening.

Fortunately, I only bought one box of seven bars. I didn't eat them at one sitting (some have done this), rather spaced them out over a 10 day period of time. But each bar has 160 calories and that can have an impact on your weight loss. I came clean to the dietician and I'm glad I did. She told me not to worry and we have learned from the experience that bars will not be a part of my program.

Gratefully, I have not had any non-Optifast food since starting the program. Oh, I've been tempted. There is something about the smell of my husband's pizza the other week that drove me nuts. Wouldn't a bite taste so good! And then he had a flaky, buttery, beautiful croissant from a local bakery that mesmerized me. I begged him to eat it quickly. Looking at it was torture. So it appears that sights and smells are the triggers. I am not hungry. To avoid these potential cheats, I know I must remain "on guard" at all times.

64 oz. a day!

My second struggle has been getting my 64 oz. of water in a day. I started off strong and diligent, but have since declined and I know I really need to correct this. Drinking that water is a requirement and aids the weight loss. Most if not all diets call for lots of water and our program is no different. I always have my 20 oz. water bottle next to me, but get busy at work, or when I am at home, get focused on the Internet or watching TV. Next thing I know it's bedtime and I only drank 40 oz. for the day. This must change.

No more couch potato!

And the third problem -- and it's a big one -- is getting my 30 minutes of exercise in five days a week. It sounds so simple; it is so simple. So why am I not doing it? Oh, I have lots of "reasons" like I'm tired or I'm too busy. These are a cover-up for what is really going on: I'm lazy. Over the past 10 years I have grown sedentary, one of the top reasons for obesity. I never thought I would become this complacent, but here I am. I do manage to get to the gym two times a week, but I could do more. I need to "own" this. And do something about it. Especially because I am only losing 2-3 lbs. per week and could potentially lose more if I just folded in some good work-outs.

I have decided to go easy on myself right now because identifying the problems is half the battle. But some action is needed if I am to reach my goal.

More On The Numbers

The Scale

When I was growing up, I hated the scale. My mother weighed herself incessantly and I wanted no part of that obsessive behavior. When I encountered times I needed to be weighed, I stepped on and turned my back to the scale. I had no desire to see the number. Because deep down I knew it would probably wreck my month.

On the Optifast program, we are required to be weighed once a week. This serves two purposes. First, the clinic can monitor your losses to make sure they are healthy. And second, continued weight loss each week is a great motivator for people! Facing that scale is not a requirement, per say, but as you see the pounds slipping off it does help you stick with the program.

But as I touched on previously, that weight number is very powerful. Particularly to individuals who are extremely sensitive about their weight. This noted, how do we temper this "power" so we do not become upset when our weekly loss seems insignificant? In my opinion, it takes a lot of inner strength to accept that because our bodies are different from each other, each one of us will post significantly different losses each week. Acceptance of our own body's chemistry, and its impact on our weight loss, can help ease our anxiety when we do not shed the weight as quickly as we want.

We need to work very hard to dismantle the negative power these weight numbers have. And this is difficult. Among other things, it requires patience, a long-term vision, being gentle with ourselves, and keeping a positive outlook towards the future. I try to see a mere 1 or 2 lb. weekly loss as a "victory." Something to be celebrated. One step closer to my goal. Yes, this is hard. But I know I must work with my body, not against it. I will reach my goal weight in due course.

I'm the first to admit that I still mistrust scales, even though I have been  facing one for 6 weeks. But like them or not, they are a part of my program. Perhaps I will be able to draw up a "peace pact" with them soon. I posted this possibility a few weeks ago on Optifast's Facebook page, but I've yet to bury the hatchet. However, let's get honest: Deep down, I am the one handing over the power to the scale. I need to take this power back.

For now, it is a work in progress. And acceptance may be the key to the process.

Cyber Support System

I remember those first few days when I was on Optifast were very difficult. My stomach growled. I felt lightheaded. I began to question why I was doing Optifast in the first place. Now, in my sixth week, things are a breeze but back in the beginning it was a different story.

My one saving grace came from of all places, Facebook. Yes, Facebook, a place I had avoided for years but begrudgingly joined after continuous nagging from a college friend in Boston. Wouldn't you know, Optifast has set up their own Facebook page and it's quite active. I located it when I was doing a Google search.

Before starting the Optifast program, I "introduced" myself in a post on the Optifast Facebook site and was immediately welcomed by several posters. Some initial questions I had were immediately answered and I was encouraged to join others on their "Optifast journey." Several people sent me friend requests or sent private messages introducing themselves. It was wonderful!

And so when I made my commitment to do Optifast and experienced those first hellish days, I immediately sought out my new friends on Facebook. I needed their support -- fast. And they were there for me. On the Optifast Facebook page, we've built a community of support, a place to go to share weight loss victories, some disappointments, exchange recipes, welcome newcomers and read inspirational stories of long-term management lifestyles. Friends have directed me to different blogs written by people on Optifast and to other Facebook pages devoted to liquid diets. There is quite a "cyber Optifast support system" out there!

I have the link at the top of my blog to the Optifast Facebook page for those who may not have seen it yet. I encourage you to go and read some of the posts -- and maybe post one of your own. It's truly a wonderful place. 

Optifaster With An Apron

I may be on the Optifast program, and drink only shakes and a soup every day, but I have not retired my apron. No such luck. My beloved husband needs his meal every night, and after years of having my gourmet creations he wants the culinary celebration to continue. Who can blame him? He's spoiled and I am the cause. So how do I handle this?

Initially, I was quite nervous. Could I handle and prepare solid food without wanting to devour it? Would I come to resent him for making me cook? What if my "heart" wasn't in my cooking anymore? What would I do?

I have since come to find that I can follow my program and cook for him. I do not resent him for anything. My creativity, however, has diminished. And I'm sad about that. Cooking for one is quite different than cooking for a pair. I'm finding it challenging to invest much thought into whipping up a masterpiece. His meals lately have descended into pork chop, apple sauce, rice, green beans; hamburger, slaw, German potato salad and corn; meatloaf, mashed potatoes and Brussels sprouts. A far cry from the Coq au Vin he enjoyed in the past.

So far, he hasn't complained. But I can't help but wonder how long it will take before he tires of these basic dinners. In my haste to sign up for Optifast, I didn't think entirely through the impact this would have on my husband. I overlooked the fact that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach -- one filled with excellent food gets you a whole lot of lovin'!

The more I learn at the clinic, the more I am coming to the conclusion that many of the meals I prepared prior to Optifast do not ever belong in a healthy diet needed for long-term maintenance. And sadly, these are meals that my husband and I enjoy the most. I think I may have to throw out 3/4 of my recipes and just start all over again, building up a new collection. I feel rather misty eyed, as I labored over these recipes and was so proud when they turned out so well. But all it takes is a look in the mirror ... to know that things must change.

I have now decided that I am going to use my husband as a "test subject" for some new, healthier dishes. No, I'm not going to use tofu. In my opinion, that's taking things too far. I've been reading up on things and it appears that utilizing excellent cuts of lean meat, exotic spices, and fresh vegetables in your dishes can result in something very tasty. Butter is out -- use olive oil where possible and cooking spray. Cooking Light is the go-to magazine for me now.

This is going to be a challenge for me. But I think I can run a good test kitchen. We'll see over the following months how everything goes.

Rising To The Challenge

Run for the roses!

I have my first "test" coming up. My family is gathering at my brother's house on Saturday for a Kentucky Derby party. It will be catered -- lots of heavy, decadent appetizers and some desserts. This is my first time attending a social gathering since I started Optifast six weeks ago. Question: Am I prepared?

I brought it up at the clinic and they gave me some great advice for overcoming the challenge of being around others whilst they are celebrating with food. I am to have an Optifast shake right before I leave for the party. This will help with cravings, should they pop up when I arrive.

Also, I love iced coffee. I will bring an extra large one and slowly sip on that. I will have a pack of gum on hand to help. And I will bring a shake, soup and jello to have throughout the party.

Because the food will be for the most part displayed in the kitchen and on the bar, that area is off limits. I will need to go in there to prepare my soup and shake, but that can be done quickly. I am to go to the TV room and socialize there and of course watch the horse race. The important thing is spending time with my family -- I need to remember that.

Now, I am quite lucky that my family knows I am on Optifast and they are very supportive. As you know, my brother successfully completed the program in 1982. So they are rallying behind me. I told them to go ahead and gobble up everything they can get their hands on. Less temptation for me! There is sure to be some longing on my part, but as long as I expect that, and have the tools to get through the celebration, I should be fine!

Oh -- and my brother has a hot tub. And Saturday night we will see the largest full moon of the year. Two things not related to food to look forward to. Yes, I will take this test. And get an A!

One Foot In Front Of The Other

As you know, I have a terrible metabolic rate. Thanks genes. This means I must incorporate a good deal of exercise into my Optifast program in order to see significant losses each week. At the clinic they told me I will need to be getting some form of exercise for an hour five times a week -- preferably cardio plus circuit training (weights). I was also told to start slowly -- ease up to that routine over time. I was glad to hear that, as I fell out of my exercise regimen a long, long time ago and I was initially quite intimidated by the new schedule. 

Week 1, I signed up with the local rec center. I tried to get on the treadmill but got dizzy after five minutes, so I stopped. I know now that my body was still adjusting to the Optifast program. By Week 2, I was able to do the treadmill at a slow walking pace for 20 minutes three days a week. Now at the end of Week 5, I am slowly increasing the speed each time and I am up to 25 minutes three times a week.

I have not started the weights yet for several reasons. First, I tend to be tired after the treadmill. I don't want to push myself too much at this early juncture or I might get frustrated and give up. Second, I know that muscle weight can add pounds and I am frightened about not losing any weight. This, of course, is ridiculous. I am going to end up with saggy skin if I don't tone my body. And I do not want that. But I am only losing about 2 lbs. a week right now and I don't want to give that up. So I'm torn. We'll see what they say at the clinic this week.

Getting -- and staying -- motivated has been tricky. Yes, I always feel so much better after my exercise, however I can make up excuses for not going i.e. I'm tired, I have to clean, I don't have time, etc. etc. I am trying to push through this. Trying to keep in the back of my mind that each step on that treadmill is a step towards my goal weight.

As we move into summer, I may be able to add in some water aerobics. I think if I can vary my types of exercise, that might help me with the motivation problem. I am also cognizant that I must work up to exercising five days a week. It seems so unreachable right now. But I'm a trooper and I won't give up!