Excellent Test Results!

Went to the clinic last night and had two things tested: my percentage of body fat and GEM, which from what I understand is my resting metabolic rate. My dietitian started hooting and hollering when she saw the results. My body fat is 25% -- I started at 44%. I think the "ideal" target for body fat for someone my age (46) and height (5' 6) is 22% so I'm I'm falling right near where I need to be.

As for my metabolic rate, I started with a rate of 1330 and I am now 1340. I thought this was a bad indicator, but oh no, she was thrilled. She said something along the lines of Optifast can, in some cases, cause serious problems with your metabolism but that is not the case with me. Granted, I still have a poor metabolic rate (1850 is the average) but so does everyone in my family. So she hugged me and was so excited. Hooray!

I'm very interested in my massive reduction of body fat, and it really underscores for me the importance of not becoming so wrapped up in the numbers on the scale. Yes, pounds lost is important, but on the Optifast program, you are going to significantly carve off fat and inches. Do not lose sight of this! I have gone from a size 24W/3X all the way down to size 10-12. I shop in the regular women's section. Now yes, I weigh 158 lbs., and for some twisted reason I think I ought to weigh less, but if I really stop and think about this, I look exactly the way I should. I don't need to be any thinner. I am healthy and vibrant and that's the way things should be.

Now emotionally, that's a little bit of a different story. I'm still quite anxious about gaining the weight back. We had our weekly dinner out last night, and went to a high-end restaurant with a special menu of four courses for a good price. I have not faced multiple courses like this for ten months, and I have to say the moment the appetizer was put in front of me I started to get nervous. It didn't matter that I took small bites and left things on my plate. I was obsessing about calories, and would this affect my weight, and it started to become a chore to get through the dinner. I don't think my husband noticed how uncomfortable I was, and I certainly didn't tell him.

When I got home, I did not feel well and had to take some Tums. Right now, it's morning and I haven't weighed myself but I'm nervous and worried about it. So clearly, I'm on shaky ground and have much work to do in order to get comfortable with these restaurants. They will always have a place in our life -- we do not have children, and restaurants play a key role in our social life. Right now, they make me so very nervous. And I don't like that.

But I'll keep plugging away at this and working on it. That's the best I can do. Okay, I'm off to start my day. Pass the Optifast shake!