I'm At Goal, But Why Do I Want More?

Well, this is odd. And maybe troubling. As you know, that dreaded scale is making itself quite comfortable in my bathroom. And I say "hello" to it in the morning and before I go to bed. Yes, I want to send it packing, but I don't, and now my husband is using it and he'd throw a fit if it just "disappeared." He's the frugal one in the family and does not want a penny wasted.

So I've been weighing myself all week as I've been transitioning off the products and slowly adopting my maintenance schedule. And wouldn't you know, that scale is showing my weight holding dead constant at 156 lbs. in the morning. (Adjusted to reflect the clinic scale, that means I'm holding steady at my 158 lb. weigh-in last week). I'm not gaining, I'm not losing. Which is supposed to be the point of all this, right? Right. So why then, am I slowly getting disgruntled? Why, why, why do I want to see...a loss? There I said it. I want more falling off. I don't want to stay flat. I want this to go on...forever?

No, of course that's not the case. But I've been on the products for so long (coming up on 10 months) that I just expect to keep shedding weight and inches, week after week. I'm forgetting how tired I got of constantly buying new clothes, staying away from restaurants, fighting tooth and nail for every pound lost. I'm overlooking the fact that I've made it -- finally, finally! -- to the place I've been wanting to get to for so very long. Those following my blog can probably tell by now that I'm just not allowing myself to celebrate. I'm up in my damn head every minute of every day. This has to stop. If only for a day.

Let's think about where I am today. I am hovering between a size 10 and 12. It is perfect for my body shape. I've still got a little bit of curve, which my husband loves. He says I look 10 years younger. I am successfully (for the most part) incorporating my new maintenance menu into my life. I like what I am eating. Physically, I feel fantastic. Do you remember a long, long time ago when I made reference to not fitting into the seats at the ice hockey arena? Well folks, tonight is the home opener and let me tell you I cannot WAIT to get to our seats! I'll be dashing to my seat, I'm so excited. This has been a long time coming. Doesn't that count for something? Of course it does.

I've got to just focus on accepting 158 lbs. In a nutshell, focus on being happy with me. Where I am right now. I've got to get out my party hat and confetti and have a little party. It's time. It's been time. Let's see if I can rally up the supplies and do that tonight. I'll get my husband to join in with me. I have made it. Congratulations to me!