Do I Reset My Goal?

I'm filled with swirling thoughts today. After weighing in at 170 lbs. last week, I had a good discussion with the dietitian about resetting my goal weight from 160 lbs. to 150 lbs. I brought it up. At 150 lbs., my BMI would be 24.6 -- firmly in the "healthy" range, which is where I truly want to be. I selected 160 lbs. as the goal back in March, and although my BMI would register at 26.2 -- low end of the "overweight" range -- I was initially okay with that because it seemed like a good weight I could maintain. Besides, it was 80 lbs. away, and that seemed like a lot of weight to drop. And I figured I'd be sick of shakes and soups by then!

But here I find myself 10 lbs. away from goal and I'm seriously considering shedding more. Actually, much more is involved than just the BMI issue. Frankly, I'm quite nervous about going back on "real" food every day. I am deeply, deeply concerned about gaining all my weight back. I'm not kidding myself -- many, many people gain their weight right back after stopping the products. Discipline goes straight out the window and the "slippage" starts. First it's 5 lbs. gained back, then 10 lbs., then so on and so on, and soon you are justifying eating as you did before and it's game over.

I do NOT want to go there -- frankly, I can't stomach the thought of wasting thousands of dollars to shed this weight, only to gain it all right back. That's just not acceptable to me. Yet the flip side of all this is can I continue to plow money into the program month after month? It's not that I don't have the resources, but this has been an incredible outlay of cash. As you know, I am only averaging about 10 lbs. lost a month, and this is going to slow down as I get closer to goal. So I am struggling with guilt right now and that's not comfortable.

(I'm getting some excellent feedback about this on the Facebook Optifast Chat Support page. I hope you've had a chance to swing by there and read some posts and see if you feel comfortable posting something yourself. I think when we start feeling guilty, about anything really -- cost, cheats, relapses, etc. -- the Facebook page really helps.)

I just concluded a good talk with my Mom about pushing forward with a new goal weight. She said go for it, despite the extra cash outlay. We reasoned that I'm on product now, I'm comfortable with it, and why not just continue until I hit 150 lbs. I also remembered that Christmas is coming, and that means Santa will leave some cash in my stocking, plus the boss will give me my end-of-year bonus. You know, I think my mind is slowly "making itself up." Well, perhaps I'll be ringing in the New Year with a banana-flavored Optifast shake. I can do that. Welcome 2013!

The Attitude of Gratitude

Just finished a delicious cup of cinnamon tea and I am sitting back in my chair, bundled in a warm blanket, smiling to myself. I am so very happy tonight -- loving my body, a body that I truly disliked for such a long time. How grateful I am for the Optifast program. Indeed, it has helped to teach me how to love myself again, take care of myself, and to treasure my body each and every day. My fears about maintenance have been ebbing a little, because I have a deeper respect for myself. This had evaporated. But now, it has returned.

I've been on a long journey. I'm thinking back to the first day I showed up at the clinic, frightened of the first weigh-in, shocked and ashamed by my obese classification, posing for a terrible picture that I can barely look at when the dietitian flips to it to show my progress. Gone is that woman, replaced by a happy, smiling one with a spring in her step and a positive outlook on the world. I don't ever want to go back to that dark place again. And with the tools the clinic has provided me, I don't have to.

If you find yourself unhappy and scared and just plain fed-up with your obesity, by all means enroll in an Optifast program. I will never regret this decision because it is an investment in me. I have learned so much, gained so much wisdom about not just eating better, but living better as well. This is an incredible experience -- I only wish I had started on this path sooner! But I guess we all have to hit that "rock bottom" before we finally take action to bring a problem under control. And act I have.

I'm down from 239 lbs. to 170 lbs. I'm ten pounds from my goal. This is a wonderful, wonderful place to be. I say it over and over again, thank you Optifast. You have changed my life, turned it back around in a positive direction. For that, I am truly grateful. I will not take this for granted. I will guard my weight loss and follow the clinic's instructions for keeping the weight off -- for a lifetime. Yes, tonight I am at peace. And it feels wonderful.  

And Out Came The Trash Bags

Today I committed myself to tackling our messy bedroom -- I will admit that I've never been too good at hanging my clothes up after I wear them. They end up piled on a chair in the corner, or on the chest at the end of the bed. And so after changing the sheets on the bed, I turned my attention to the piles. And something interesting happened.

As I began to sort through everything, I suddenly got struck with a strong desire to start finally doing the big purge of all the clothes that no longer fit me. I did a smaller one in the summer, but I held back on donating certain clothes that were quite beautiful and also expensive. Well, I decided it was time to let it all go. So I got a box of black trash bags and started in on everything.

First I went to my closet and pulled out sweaters, dresses, blazers, shirts and coats. Everything was 2X and 3X. Was I really that size? I quickly filled up seven trash bags. Then in went the belts. Soon there wasn't much left -- just a few 1X turtlenecks that have shrunk over time, a few XL cardigans I purchased years back when I was thinner, and some XL shirts I bought at the thrift store last week. Next I moved back to the bedroom and started in on my chest of drawers. Out went the women's sized pants, the bathing suits (sizes 22 and 24!), and the 2X cotton long-sleeved shirts. In went the XL shirts from my chair pile that I purchased at Target a few weeks ago. The shirt drawer is almost bare now. And I couldn't be happier.

I loaded all of the bags into my car and drove smiling to the Salvation Army drop box located down the street. One by one, I pushed the bags through the chute and instead of feeling guilt, I felt relieved to say goodbye to it all. I drove back home elated. The only bad thing is I now don't have much to wear, but I can build up a new wardrobe over time. I needed to do this. To say "goodbye" to the old, sad me and "hello" to the new, happy me. It feels a little bit awkward to now be shopping in the "normal" area of the department store, but that's where I go now. Time for another visit soon. I don't have much left to wear!

The Final Countdown?

I report with great excitement that as of my weigh-in last week, I am now just ten lbs. to goal! I have had two weeks in a row of 3 lb. losses -- quite amazing since I am in the final stretch of this part of my journey and weight loss tends to slow down at this time. Now, I don't want to get my hopes up too much because I could hit the proverbial wall and slow down to a crawl. But I'm truly excited right now and wanted to share this right away.

I have been very stressed and busy at work, so my entries are few and far between right now. Things will pick back up after my vacation to Florida in ten days. The first thing I am going to do when I arrive is go buy a new bathing suit and some cute shorts. I can't wait to stroll down the beach feeling comfortable with my body. It's been a very long time since I felt this way, and I am going to treasure every minute of it!

One thing "gnawing" at me right now: As I was raking the leaves outside today, I started wondering if I should set a lower goal weight for myself. My target is 160 lbs. -- I'm 5'6 and big-boned, and I felt comfortable with that. Plus, I want some curves. I do not want to be a stick. But I am hovering in the size 12-14 range, and part of me wants to shoot for size 10. On the flip side though, I do not want to push things too far. My "normal" size for years was a 12. I don't think I've been under that since high school. And I don't want to be trapped in a constant battle to stay in a size that might not be appropriate for me.

Perhaps I am just being vain. This may have been inevitable. When you get used to continuously dropping in size over a relatively short period of time, you grow to expect it to continue. Time for another chat with the dietitian. So far, I have not fallen victim to the dreaded weight/scale obsession, but it could crop up when I least expect it. And I don't want that. I guess we'll just wait and see what is recommended.

Secrets To Success

A friend on the Optifast Chat Support page on Facebook posted this wonderful picture yesterday. It so neatly sums up the simple steps one needs to follow to successfully reach your goal while on the Optifast products. I am thrilled to see my "One Day At A Time" mantra topping the list -- as you know, I have worked that concept all the way through Phase I of my 80 lbs. loss journey, which will probably end up taking 9 months.  Honestly, time has flown by and I am so pleased with my results. One foot in front of the other, one shake, one soup at a time, I have carved off an incredible amount of weight. A great accomplishment, to be sure. I'm not at goal yet, but I'm very, very close. And staying in the day has kept me focused and motivated all the way through.

Some other things on this list really stand out for me: Believe in yourself, acknowledge your attributes, and be kind to yourself. All three do wonders for your self-esteem. Recognize your progress (very important). CELEBRATE every pound lost! Even if it is .5 lb., that is another step towards your goal. Pat yourself on the back! And focus on how you feel, not on the scale. This is absolutely critical, in my opinion. We must learn to process our feelings in new ways that do not include eating. This will be a key to maintenance. If we limit ourselves to putting all of our energy into a scale obsession, we are missing out on some very, very important self-work that needs to be done so we can keep our weight off. We have worked hard to reach our goal. Let's not undermine this by avoiding implementation of new behaviors that promote healthy eating and living.

Finally, the last item on the list -- don't compare yourself to others -- carries great significance for me. As someone who loses slowly, I could have thrown in the towel months ago if I allowed myself to get wrapped up in comparisons of myself to those losing 4 or 5 lbs. a week, or those who successfully shed 80 lbs. in half the amount of time than me. My body moves at its own pace, and the important thing is I have knocked off 67 lbs. and have just 13 lbs. more to lose. Optifast has worked for me. Sometimes things happen quickly, sometimes slowly, and I have always believed that slow and steady wins the race. I am almost home. I can see the finish line. Which is wonderful.

For those struggling to stay motivated in your own Optifast journey, think about this list and begin implementing some of the sage advice contained in it. It will make you feel better about yourself, and could kick-start your dedication to the program. Follow these steps to success and victory is yours!

Really Getting Close

I apologize for my delay in posting. We are weathering side effects from Hurricane Sandy, including the flooding of our basement, which took out our hot water heater temporarily. All is dried now, but it has been a stressful week. Also, work remains a constant stress and for the first time in my life I had a urge to "stress eat" -- this is a new phenomenon for me, that I managed with a lot of gum chewing and coffee. Things appear to be back under control and I'm grateful for that.

I'm thrilled to report that I lost 3 lbs. (!) at my weigh-in this week, putting me at 13 lbs. more to go until I reach goal! I am now very comfortable in a regular size 12 (no more women's section!) and on my way to a size 10. To give some perspective here, I started at a size 22W -- and was creeping into 24W -- and have dropped all the way down to where I am today. A wonderful place to find myself. I have lost 67 lbs. and I feel fantastic. The "pickle a day" has raised my sodium level back to 134, and I'm relieved about that. So all in all, I'm happy as a clam!

I am continuing with my one meal out a week, and we have settled on one restaurant in particular where I order a salad of spinach, dried tomatoes, red onion, and 4 oz. of chicken, plus a side of roasted brussels sprouts. The dressing is a citrus vinagrette. I truly enjoy it, and I know I could prepare it myself, but it's nice to have someone else do it for me. My husband is thrilled we are going out again and I am eternally grateful to him for putting up with my restaurant "ban" for months.

Transition will soon be coming. At our clinic, you do not start transition until you reach goal. At that point, you begin to slowly phase food back into your diet. Menus are given, and I can tell from hand-outs they are giving us that the meals emphasize lean protein, vegetables, brown rice/wheat pasta/quinoa, etc. Also required is breakfast, lunch, snack and dinner -- a pattern that I had all but abandoned years ago. This is going to take some time to get used to, but I am going to embrace it with same dedication I have had to my product consumption Phase I. I love the new "me" and I want to stay this way!

I am so very glad I decided to embark on this journey. It has been worth every minute, every dollar. Optifast works if you work it!