Nights In, Not Out

And so, some ruminations about one of the downsides of Optifasting.

I miss restaurants. I may love to cook and eat my own creations, but this Chef needs a meal out at least once a week. Not only is it a welcome respite from my labor, a sojourn to an eatery gives me the chance to see what other chefs are creating in their kitchens. And in Columbus there are hundreds of restaurants to visit.

I look for atmosphere, creative ingredients and actually a short, uncomplicated menu. I want an appetizer, soup, main course and dessert. And I'm happy to leave with a full tummy. That's why I went out in the first place. I have been all over town and I've eaten a little bit of everything. And I'm always hungry for more.

Now, imagine putting the brakes on all this. Sure, I could go to a restaurant with one of my soup packets and ask for hot water, but personally I'm not comfortable with that. That's just me. I would also be insanely jealous of everyone at neighboring tables eating with gusto and the sight and smell of their dishes would drive me nuts. So I stay away, and fortunately I have a loving husband who is happy to oblige me. That's one less check he has to pay.

But this is not to say I don't long for a dinner out on the town. Who doesn't? Right now, we find ourselves staying home every night. I'm afraid to venture out for fear that I might "slip" and end up on a "cheat" (eating solid food whilst you are on Optifast). At this juncture, I don't trust myself, even though I have almost five weeks under my belt. Yummy, fattening food, it seems, is everywhere. So in a way, I am isolating myself at night. This may be a bad thing.

What I try to do is remember that I will be able to go out again. Just not at this time. Before I am ready, not only do I need to lose weight, I have to completely rethink my restaurant eating "experience." Endless courses? Nope. Order whatever I want? Nada. Cleaning my plate and rolling out of the place? Thing of the past. There are completely new lessons I must learn.

There are reasons for the need to implement strategies when dining out. First, the portions are huge. I am learning that portion control is one of the most important things I must practice when I wean back onto solid food. Eat half of what you are served and have the remainder boxed up. Sounds so straightforward, but for someone like me this is no easy task.

Look for simple salads, steamed vegetables and grilled fish. Avoid potatoes, opting for rice instead. Simple, eh? In a word: Boring! Now, if the chef has a good command of spices, I could still end up with a tasty meal. That's the critical thing. I will need to seek one out -- and that could initially be difficult. But it can be done.

Again, it comes down to adopting a new eating behavior. Can I follow through with this particular one? As long as I remain committed to my weight management journey, I'll pull through. One day at a time. One meal at a time.

Circuit Training

My brain is getting rewired. And I'm happy about it. My clinic is providing me with a wealth of information about how to identify my bad eating behaviors -- and how to implement new, healthy ones. Before Optifast, I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it, feeding my brain's pleasure zone. And we all know how that ended up. But now that I'm on the program, my "circuits" are going through a thorough training regimen. I'm ready for the data input.

A recent handout I received outlined four "eating styles" listed below:

Emotional Eater -- Overeat when stressed, anxious, angry or bored. Overeat when feeling good or celebrating.

Eating Skills Eater -- First to finish meal when eating with others; nibble when preparing or cleaning up; regularly have second helpings; eat in places other than the kitchen or dining room; clean plate even when full.

Social Influences Eater -- Eat more with certain people; friends and family members like to eat; attend social events where food is served; work requires eating out; hard time controlling eating at social events.

Restrained Eater -- Get urges to eat even when not hungry; hard time controlling urges; skip at least one meal a day to lower calories; afraid won't be able to stop eating voluntarily; fast, exercise excessively, vomit or use laxatives.

For the most part, I'm an Eating Skills Eater. I eat too much and too fast. (I do have some traits of the Emotional Eater, namely I eat when I am bored and I overeat when I am celebrating.) Here are some tips for managing my unskilled behavior:

On eating too fast:

• Put your fork or spoon down between bites.
• Divide or cut your food into small bites. Eat only one bite at a time.
• Increase the of times you chew something before swallowing.
• Pause in the middle of meals or between courses.
• (Another suggestion by my nutritionist was to eat with your opposite hand -- or use chopsticks!)

When you eat slowly, six important things happen:

• You taste and enjoy food more.
• You give yourself more time to feel full from the food you have eaten.
• You eat less because you feel full earlier.
• You lose weight because you eat less.
• You experience a greater sense of control.
• You have more time to think about how much food you want to eat, before you have eaten all of it.

On improper portion sizes/ "cleaning my plate":

• Eat your food on a plate. Putting food on a plate increases your awareness of it.
• Avoid eating out of bags and containers -- it's impossible to judge how much you've eaten.
• Take medium-sized portions of food. Taking too little will create a desire for seconds and increase your chances of overeating. Taking a big portion will also result in too many calories.
• Eating special foods is OK as long as they are planned, eaten in small amounts, and eaten infrequently.
• Return bags and containers back to their proper place after fixing food. It will be less likely to be eaten.
• You don't have to eat it all just because it's there!
• Learn to gradually reduce your eating in response to the sight of food.

Finally, make sure you follow the "5P's" of appropriate eating. 1.) Plan your food intake ahead of time. 2.) Implement portion control. 3.) Eat a well-proportioned, balanced diet by eating the right amount of foods from the different food groups. 4.) Eat your food sitting down, in a proper place. 5.) Eat peacefully. Savor your meal.

I like going back to school. 

What's In A Number?

So every week, I approach it. Slip off my shoes and shed a sweater if I'm wearing one. I take a deep breath. Then I step on the scale.

I know the number will make or break my week.

When you commit to Optifast, spending hundreds of dollars a month on food, and go through months of drinking only liquids, you damn well want to see results when you arrive at the clinic for your weekly weigh-in. A nice, big loss -- maybe in the ten pound range? That's what I thought would happen. Well, things have turned out a little differently for me.

I have a terrible metabolic rate of 1330. The normal rate is 1850, and someone lucky to have that will see bigger losses than I have. Darn it! My first week weigh-in showed a loss of 4.5 lbs. The next week, I lost ... nothing. A big fat zero. I was so upset, I was going to quit the program. The third week, I did a little better: 3 lbs. And this week, I shed 2.2 lbs. So for the month, I lost about 10 lbs. And I'm pissed.

Why? Optifast makes it clear on their website that I am in the normal range when it comes to expectations as to what I will lose on their program. And the clinic gave me a thumbs up and congratulated me on my success. I wailed about the modest number and I was told this is exactly what I should weigh given the amount of product I consume weekly. But it doesn't seem fair.

I realized this week that I had high expectations in the beginning. I would drop my 80 lbs. in 4 months. All would be right in the world just in time for bathing suit season! Hadn't I read on different Internet pages about individuals shedding major amounts of weight in a matter of months? I will be one of them too, I reasoned. I couldn't wait.

In short, I was an impatient dreamer caught up in comparisons of myself with others. Time to take a deep breath and reassess the situation.

One of the most important things I try to remember is we are all different, occupying different bodies with different chemical make-ups. We also are on different Optifast programs. Some call for 550 or so calories a day; my program calls for 640 calories a day; and still others do a combination of Optifast products and solid food. So weekly losses will inevitably vary from person to person. Something to keep in mind when you are feeling down and depressed that you are not losing as quickly as others.

My brother, who did Optifast successfully in 1982, was quite firm when he told me: "Melissa, this is a marathon. Not a sprint. Expect 8 months to a year." A year? Say it isn't so! (I actually don't think it will take me that long to reach my goal, as I have started exercising and that should help.) Sobering words, but I sincerely appreciate his honesty. After all, he has a terrible metabolic rate as well!

Numbers -- particularly when they pertain to weight loss -- are very powerful. They can drive our self-esteem, mood, sense of self worth and a host of different behaviors. I really don't want to fall into the "numbers trap" but it's so hard when you have set a goal weight and your progress is monitored weekly. It must be done, however, and I have to be open to inevitable disappointment. But on the flip side, there could be a pleasant surprise waiting around the corner. I'm trying to keep that in mind.

I do have a good number: I have made great strides in lowering my "bad" cholesterol. In a month, it has dropped from 150 to 99. Something to celebrate! Optifast is focused on improving your overall health -- not just moving you from the obesity range to the "normal" range. There are surprises awaiting me. More "good" numbers. And the weight will follow.

So what's in a number? For me, it's patience!

Repetitio Est Mater Studiorum

Repetition is the mother of learning.

Some might wonder if it gets boring having the same Optifast shakes and soup every day. I actually like it. Who would of thought? I start my day with a shake, follow up with one for lunch, and then have a third before my work-out. I have a soup for dinner (I do love the soups) and another shake, and end the evening with some sugar-free jello. I do not deviate from this schedule.

I find this routine easy to follow and tasty as well. As I mentioned before, I flavor my shakes and add spices to my soups. So the products taste good. I am also satiated after eating. I do not feel hungry throughout the day. In the bigger picture, this repetition of daily product intake offers something quite important: the time to think about the healthy eating habits I will put in place after I wean off of Optifast. Because I no longer have to spend time thinking about portion size and caloric intake (that is all done for me), I can now research "good" foods for me and low-calorie cooking methods. It's a win-win situation.

I must remember that I am overweight for a number of reasons. Eating my fattening cooking is a big one. I also ate large portions and ate very, very quickly. This is a behavior I am still working on, as right now I gulp down my shakes rapidly. I don't know yet why I do this. Am I worried someone will take my food away? I have been a fast eater for as long as I can remember, and both my brother and sister do the same thing. This is a bad habit that needs to be corrected.

I can study my habits and identify these behaviors now that I am in this stage of the Optifast program. I never expected this benefit when I first started this journey. This is definitely a plus for those seeking to take off weight and keep it off. That is one of the biggest challenges I will face. It's true when people say the full liquid diet, done repetitively day after day, is the easiest part of the plan. So I am going to cherish this time.

To Eat Or Not To Eat

I love food. The richer, the better. Cream sauces, beef marbled with fat, thick, crusty bread drenched in olive oil and topped with grated parmesean cheese, gooey, chocolaty cakes. I love to prepare food as well -- it's as if I am creating a piece of art. I get great pleasure from my time in the kitchen. I am fascinated by the color and texture of  ingredients, and love the smells that fill the kitchen when I am cooking. It's intoxicating.

But indulging in my pastime has come at a price: I'm now overweight and frankly, I no longer have a clue how to eat sensibly. It has become second nature to me to sometimes use a stick of butter and several teaspoons of salt in a dinner entree. Bread is a staple at every meal and dessert is always served when the meal is over. I'm in an ongoing cycle. After 10 years of indulging in this activity, I have put on 80 lbs. So now it's crystal clear to me that things need to change.  

But where to start?

For me, Optifast offers something I desperately need at this juncture: Someone else making the food choices for me. Regarding the Optifast food, it may be in liquid form, but I have different products I can use and a schedule for when to have them. For instance, I have four shakes a day and a very tasty soup spaced out in three hour intervals. I buy a week's worth of products at a time, thus removing any need to refer to fatty (but so tasty) recipes for dinner.

I am also allowed 1 cup of sugar-free jello or low sodium broth a day. This menu may sound stark, but it is actually quite pleasing if you put on your Chef's hat and do some "enhancing" of your products. For instance, extracts and flavorings are allowed in the program. That means your shakes can be flavored in many different ways to make them more enjoyable. Favorite recipes include:

"The Pancake Shake": Vanilla shake mix, 1 tsp. maple extract, 1 tsp butter extract. Lovely!

"The Banana Bread Shake": Vanilla shake mix, 1 tbsp. banana extract, 1 tsp. walnut extract. Yum.

"The Butter Rum Shake": Vanilla shake mix, 1 tsp. rum extract, 1 tsp. butter extract. Marvelous.

Many other extracts are available to jazz up your shakes: Orange, lemon, almond, banana and coconut, to name a few. Some Optifasters mix diet soda, such as root beer or orange, with their drink mix. Flavored syrups made by Torani or Davinci may be added. But I prefer the extracts.

I really let my creativity shine with the two soups to choose from: Creamy Chicken and Creamy Tomato. Typical spices like curry, dill and cayenne add nice flavor. I am branching out into exotic Indian spices and using fresh herbs from the garden. As long as I avoid salt and use spices in moderation, I am able to serve up a tasty meal.

Do I miss solid food? Well, it's really quite amazing that at this juncture, I would much rather have my liquids! I do not feel hungry or stuffed. I feel wonderful, balanced and satisfied. Before, I never ate breakfast or lunch, preferring instead to eat very large portions at dinner and graze the rest of the night. I don't do this anymore. And I feel great!

Easy Does It

Some might think Optifast is crazy because it is a liquid diet, and you are not allowed to eat solid foods for the duration of time it takes to reach your "goal weight." In my case, I need to lose 80 lbs., so seeing, to date, I am roughly losing 10 lbs. a month, I will be on Optifast for 8 months. An eternity? Probably. But I don't look into the future. I just use the "take it one day at a time" approach. That keeps me sane and committed to my program.

Actually, if you have had experience with any 12-step program, that can put you ahead of the game. Phrases like "Easy Does It" and "One Day At A Time" can bring you some solace and serenity as you go through this restrictive program. Meditation is useful during the first few days you are having the drinks. The initial transition from solids to liquids can be difficult, and taking some time to relax on your bed or in the bath really helps.

One must be patient with the Optifast program, not expecting overnight results. This is a marathon, not a sprint. I learned this the hard way, initially getting so worked up over the weekly weigh-ins and getting crushed my second week when I saw I lost nothing. My weight loss has and will probably be slow. I have a thyroid disease. My metabolism is terrible and I have a large percentage of body fat. I must constantly remind myself that there is a little victory in a two pound loss.

My weight loss to date has been: Week One: 4.5 lbs. Week Two: 0 lbs. Week 3: 3 lbs. I urge everyone considering the Optifast program to remember that everyone is different when it comes to weight loss speed. I have read many blogs and Internet posts of people who lost 10-20 lbs. their first week, and had steady losses in the weeks following. Don't fall into comparisons, as I did. It can be very disheartening to do so and you may start to question your decision to continue Optifast. Keep with the program! It works. Guaranteed.

Optifast Gourmet

And so, like the million before me, I have begun the Optifast medical weight loss program. I am overweight, obviously, and with that comes a host of problems like horrible back pain, shameful expeditions to the clothing stores for fat clothes, sweating and huffing when walking up stairs, and a general malaise that never leaves me. My reasons for the weight gain? 1.) I am a gourmet cook who never skimps on butter, salt, flour or sugar; 2.) I am required to take medications that make me fat; 3.) I am sedentary -- no let's be honest. I'm lazy; and 4.) I love to eat. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less.

I've started on this to get the "real me" back. What is the Optifast weight loss program? In the United States it is a rigid, primarily liquid diet that, importantly, is monitored by dietitians and physicians. I wouldn't be on this program otherwise. I initially weighed in at 239 lbs. (I'm 5'6) and my goal is 160 lbs. An 80 lb. loss and reduction of 33% of my body fat. I've been on the Optifast shakes and soups for three weeks. Come join me on my journey. It should be an interesting ride.