Comparing Ourselves: Some Words Of Wisdom

I'm an outgoing person by nature, and I enjoy getting to know people in my clinic who are going through the Optifast program like myself. I will often introduce myself and say how long I have been on the program, and they typically reply with the same information. But I never, ever ask how much weight they have lost. There is something so personal about that question, so awkward, when it is asked face-to-face. So I never bring it up. It's as if it's a line you do not cross. And I respect that.

But in the world of electronic communication, things are much freer, which opens up the chance for wonderful dialogue and the exchange of information. Regarding our Optifast journeys, we have a chance to share more intimate details about our program and provide support to new friends we meet along the way. We can go into specifics regarding our weekly losses, milestones, struggles and triumphs. In other words, an intimacy is created that most of the time does not exist in the clinic office. And it's wonderful.

However, there is one dilemma that this creates. Because all of us are overweight, and we are all enrolled in the same program, we are naturally going to be curious how our compatriots are doing. How much weight they have lost, in what amount of time, how many sizes they have dropped along the way, etc. We all want to lose our weight as quickly as possible. And that's no wonder when you are on a rigid, restrictive diet. So the inevitable occurs. We start comparing ourselves to others, particularly to those who are losing weight more quickly. Worrying starts if we don't keep up the pace. Frustration sometimes builds. Even jealousy can rear it's head. How should we handle this?

It's simple. Nip it in the bud.

In my ever so humble opinion, comparisons really serve no purpose. They just lead to uncomfortable feelings. We must never, ever forget that we have different bodies and different chemical make-ups. And this effects how quickly or slowly we lose our weight, either on Optifast or through another diet. For every person losing more weight than you there is inevitably someone losing less than you -- and that "someone" is probably me! I've talked about "acceptance" of your situation in the past, and I truly believe in that. By embracing the acceptance credo, we get an inner peace about our situation. We relax. And let things unfold as they may.

Of course, if you are truly concerned about your loss rate, I strongly encourage you to discuss the situation with your dietitian and doctor. I have done this more than once. Not only was I fully educated about my situation, I was praised for my success so far. I am in the average weekly loss range -- 2-4 lbs. per week -- which is fabulous for someone with my metabolism. It also outpaces Weight Watchers. Which is why I am satisfied with my Optifast program.

Don't get me wrong: comparisons are so hard not to do. I engaged in them when I first started. They are a knee-jerk reaction for most of us. But do try to let them go. Pat your back for even .5 lbs. lost. A loss is a loss! And something to celebrate. If we adhere to our programs, we will reach our goals. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly it will always materialize if we work for it. And that's a promise!