An Old Friend Rears It's Head

Hello all. I have not been feeling well lately, and I have just found out why: my thyroid levels have dropped, and I am now hypothyroid (as opposed to the hyperthyroid condition I had brought on by Graves Disease). The symptoms include fatigue, fuzzy memory, weight gain, hair thinning, irregular/heavy periods, cold hands/cold feet and depression. Everything I have been experiencing. I haven't really gone into the details of my symptoms because a.) I like to be positive here and b.) I hadn't really pieced this all together, because some days have been good, others have been bad.

But the good news is the dosage of my medicine has been increased and I started it yesterday. I should get some relief within the week. I am disappointed to report that I stopped streaking 2 days ago. I just couldn't physically move -- I was very, very tired. And my morning weight has not budged off of 159 lbs, regardless of what I eat. This impacts me emotionally and throws a monkey wrench in my eating routine. I am used to going into the weekend weighing around 156 lbs., and that makes me feel comfortable about having a meal out and a brunchy meal on Sundays. I have gotten very used to my weekly weight "pattern" and it keeps me comfortable and anxiety-free. But tonight I'm keyed up and envisioning a highly restrictive weekend -- which I'm starting to resent.

Millie has told me that my restrictive diet can easily lend itself to resentment. So I'm not surprised I am starting to feel this way. I tried to relax a little bit last night. We went out to dinner at a healthy Middle Eastern restaurant, and then we walked over to an ice cream shop. I haven't had ice cream in so, so long. It was good, but I did feel a twinge of guilt. I'm working on managing that and I think I'll get better in time. I'm going to try and shoot for the middle of the road -- not be so, so restrictive nor totally without controls. Just reside somewhere in the middle. For a "black and white" thinker like me, this is difficult to do. But I'm going to try.

Now something interesting I want to tell you is I have not been eating my Fiber One/plain non-fat yogurt/almonds/Ghiradelli dark chocolate square, and strawberries "concoction" at night for several days now. Might this be a reason why my weight won't budge? I will ask Millie when I see her next week. I also have veered away from making my own high-fiber salads with veggies, instead purchasing some different salads with high-fiber items in them from a high-end grocery store in Columbus. What's "dangerous" about this is I don't know what they are using for dressing, and if the salads contain salt. When I relinquish control of what I make to someone else, there are definite drawbacks. But again, I've been so tired and my creativity is out the window right now.

So I'm going to see how the next few days go, and try to resume my own cooking. That's my little goal for the weekend. Of course I'll keep you updated on my thyroid situation. Who would have thought that tiny "Master Gland" could cause such disruption? Oh well. We'll get it under control soon. And then a steakin' I will go!