I'm Human, Continued

There is one thing I know now for sure and that is I would not have made it this far without the wonderful support from my dear friends on the Facebook Optifast Chat Support page. I've heard some people claim Facebook is becoming a thing of the past, and no one is using it anymore, and I really laugh at that. I'm connected 24 hours a day, 7 days a week with Optifast friends from all over the world. And when I went into this bingeing "free fall," they were immediately there to help me get the rip cord on the parachute pulled.

As I was reminded, I am running a marathon here -- not a sprint -- and I temporarily fell and scratched my knee. But up I will get and continue on my way. I always advise everyone else to "pamper" themselves while they are Optifasting, and isn't it time I take that advice myself? That's what a friend said. So I'm going out shopping today. I am going to find that celebratory bracelet, or at the very least, just start looking.

And whilst I am out, I am going back to the sporting goods store where I got the yoga pants. I am going to buy a bathing suit to wear for water aerobics and lap-swimming. I'm a "water baby" at heart and this is what I love to do: swim. So I will purchase a proper suit and goggles. The clinic is talking and I am listening: I've just got to move, I've got to embrace physical exercise. It is the crucial third leg of my three-legged maintenance "stool" and it can't stand without it. And my friends are telling me that consistent exercise will lessen the guilt, allow for more "leeway" and ease my obsessive need to "control." I need this relief.

I'm starting to realize that because I grew so sedentary over the years, I actually lack most of the necessary "gear" needed to do even the most basic of workouts. I only just recently purchased the yoga pants, and I don't have the bathing suit yet. I have no idea where my t-shirts are -- shoved in a storage bin with other summer clothes, I guess. None of which fit anymore. They are too big. I have some running/exercising bras, so I'm set there. But new purchases must be made. This is a lifestyle change -- and I need to prepare for it.

As for the eating, as I said earlier, I am not hungry in the slightest today, but I am staying the course and following my healthy, normal eating schedule. This will (fingers crossed) prevent the bingeing tonight. All of the pizza has been pitched. There are no cookies or sweets around. If my husband needs a treat, he will go to the French bakery/cafe and get a little something and eat it there. We are planning for a long walk today -- it's cooler than we expected, but we're going to try and go for it. If we don't, we will definitely go tomorrow.

I'm still not feeling so hot, physically, from that sugar and carb overload. I have no idea if there are some specific food items I can eat to "cleanse" my system -- I am going to email Millie and ask. I also just feel the need to let the clinic know about this binge session. It keeps me accountable. I don't want to harbor any "eating secrets."

So I'm moving forward, as best I can, planning for a soft landing when I come back down to Earth. Onward. One Day At A Time.