New Day Coming

I remember when I first started the Optifast program and began using the products, I had so many questions and I wanted to "connect" with people going through the program too. I realized pretty early on that this was going to be challenging -- staying fully compliant -- and I needed a rock solid support system including people going through the program like myself. I mean, no one truly understands what it's like full fasting unless you've done it yourself. It takes one to know one.

Roughly a week into the program, a good clinic friend I had made directed me to a blog written by a woman in California called, "New Day Coming." She has not been active for awhile, but I still keep a link to her blog on the right side of my page because I found it invaluable when I started. It was the first Optifast blog I found; I visited it frequently to see how she handled different challenges posed by the full fast; I went there when I had cravings to get my mind off of food; I found links to other Optifast blogs I could read. I will always remain linked to her page, whether she resumes writing or not. It was that important to me.

I have not posted in a few days because I have been upset and my doctor wanted me to put together some good nights of sleep. I am most productive writing early in the morning, before work, and I had to put that off. I have been going to bed at 8:00 p.m. and sleeping through until 7:30 a.m. This has been good. I feel so much better. I awoke this morning refreshed, and immediately thought to myself, "Melissa, this is a new day coming." And I started to smile, because I realize that I can overcome these maintenance challenges, I will succeed in staying healthy, I am strong and resilient and intelligent and I am on a lifelong journey with ups and downs. Mistakes are okay, slips are okay, some weight gain is okay. I can recover and bring things back in line.

I know I can do this.

Like the Little Engine That Could, today is the day where "I think I can" clicked over into "I know I can." The "new day" has arrived. I feel positive and grounded. Now, this may change, but I'm prepared for that. I'm in maintenance, it's very challenging right now, I want to do it perfectly. But today, I am throwing the perfectionism out the window. It's ridiculous, an energy-waster, a self-esteem killer, an always unobtainable thing. It's toxic, actually, and I don't need it in my life. Of course, I can always run outside and pick it up off the ground, but today I am not going to do that.

Also, today is the day where I do a little "test" to see if I can go through the day not trying to please everyone. This came up in therapy, and it's been a big problem in my life since I was a very young child. I am going to think of Melissa today, and what she needs to be healthy and happy. In other words, I am going to put myself first, for a change. This is odd and uncomfortable, but I know I can test the waters for one day. It's a big step, but I have to start somewhere. I'm 46 years old and it's about time.

I want to take a moment to thank all of my friends and family for your support during this difficult time. You keep me grounded and I am so deeply grateful. Today is a "new day" for you as well. Make the most of it. All my love.