Hide and Seek: A "Baby Binge"

Well, let's talk about Almond Butter. I have a Facebook friend who called it crack. I chuckled when I heard that, because I had just purchased some, and had faithfully measured out 2 tsp. to have with a small Pink Lady apple for a snack. No problem with portion control or craving any more of it. She must not know what she is talking about, I thought.

Yeah, right.

Two days ago, I weighed in the morning and I was 155 lbs. The stress and worry I had been contending with for days had impacted my eating routine. I just didn't want to eat. My weight began to drop from my expected 157 lbs. Was I happy about it? In a twisted way, yes I was. Very happy. Down is better than up, right? So that evening, I did what I always did in the past when I wanted to celebrate. Start eating!

Quietly into the kitchen I crept, making sure my husband was engrossed in the TV and didn't notice. Out came a teaspoon and the almond butter jar. One teaspoon. Yum. Second teaspoon. Yum, yum. Third and fourth teaspoons (I was going more quickly). Then, husband. "What are you doing in there?" Up he gets from his chair, and comes into the kitchen. I do not hesitate. "Hide this honey," I say. "It's crack."

He sighed. He's had to do this before. "Leave the kitchen," he said. And I did, knowing I would be on the hunt for it the next day.

The clinic distributes a critical handout that effectively sums up four classifications of eaters:

Emotional Eater -- Overeat when stressed, anxious, angry or bored. Overeat when feeling good or celebrating.

Eating Skills Eater -- First to finish meal when eating with others; nibble when preparing or cleaning up; regularly have second helpings; eat in places other than the kitchen or dining room; clean plate even when full.

Social Influences Eater -- Eat more with certain people; friends and family members like to eat; attend social events where food is served; work requires eating out; hard time controlling eating at social events.

Restrained Eater -- Get urges to eat even when not hungry; hard time controlling urges; skip at least one meal a day to lower calories; afraid won't be able to stop eating voluntarily; fast, exercise excessively, vomit or use laxatives.

I've got characteristics from all of these groups. I can't really align with one type. But clearly, the almond butter "incident" illustrates some emotional eating behavior. Celebrate a good weigh in! But let's call this what it is: a binge. I didn't want to stop eating, I couldn't stop eating. Very troubling and this needs to be addressed.

Of course I found the hidden almond butter last night, and started in on it again. But somehow, I managed to get the brakes on, go to the sink, squeeze a liberal amount of dishwashing liquid in the jar, fill it up with hot water, and scrape all the remaining almond butter out and down the disposal. Then immediately the jar went into the recycling bin outside. It's gone. And I'm relieved.

Almond butter? Crack in my book. I will not ever purchase it again. Thanks dear friend for the heads up.