The Power Of Positive Thinking

Well, the supposed "blizzard" did not really hit my neighborhood or my clinic location yesterday. So they did indeed open in the afternoon, and I was able to go in and purchase my products, weigh in, and see the dietitian and doctor. To my amazement, I shed 2.3 lbs. this week. This is very bittersweet, however, because I put myself through a lot of anxiety and fear and obsessiveness all week long. Clearly, it wasn't worth it -- but I literally could not stop it. I took anti-anxiety medication, I tried to implement portion control, I tried to avoid binges, and nothing really worked. Oh, how I suffered. I am also now out of ketosis, which makes getting back on the full fast extremely difficult these next few days. I had a tough day physically yesterday, but yes, I survived it.

But -- let's stop dwelling on these negatives and get productive, get positive for a change! My dietitian emphasized this during our session. What I need to be looking for, to be focusing on, are the little "victories" that occurred along the way. These include adherence to the special/restricted meal on some occasions; still having some of my products each day (instead of ditching them completely and veering completely off course); and stopping those binges before they got completely out of control and I got sick. My dietitian said, "Say to yourself, 'I am awesome!'" And I did, and repeated it a few times and I started feeling better.

What I am learning on my own Optifast journey is that I am very, very critical of myself -- yes, I had some knowledge of this before I started, but it is all too clear right now. The other "trap" I have fallen into is engaging in unrealistic, ultimately unobtainable perfectionism. Strict, rigid adherence to the full fast. Making no room for slips, allowing nothing past my lips that isn't an Optifast product, jello, or a pickle -- unless the clinic allows otherwise. Castigating myself if I fall short of the expectations I set. And now letting a number on a scale each morning be the "indicator" of how "good" or "bad" I am.

All of this is negative thinking and behavior. It serves no purpose save to bring me down, and keep me from enjoying the "now," where I am in the moment. My "default" thinking needs to be positive, uplifting, something that makes me enjoy every day to the fullest. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I can implement this. It just takes some work. Baby steps are required, and I need to be gentle with myself. This is a process, and I can't forget that.

Now some who have just started the Optifast program and are reading this may think, "What in the heck is wrong with this woman?! " And I chuckle, because I might think that way too. Just know that it has been a long road for me, and my weight comes off so slowly because of the poor metabolism and thyroid disease, and I tend to be in my head quite a bit. Plus I'm close to goal and that can make one even more impatient. But I'm trying. And I'll see this through.

For all those struggling, I'm right there with you. We can, we will make it. And we all make mistakes. This is human, this is normal. This is a sign of growth. Today, I will focus on the positives in my life. I hope you do too. We have much to be grateful for in our lives. And we are all special in our own way. Let's love ourselves more. We deserve it.