An "Ah-Ha!" Moment

Woke up this morning with a few realizations about my present situation. First, I have completely forgotten my golden credo that this Optifast journey is "a marathon, not a sprint." How could that have slipped my mind? Second, I have never been on a diet before! Of course I'm confused and bewildered and frightened about gaining weight and losing control. And perhaps most importantly, I have lost an incredible amount of weight and I look and feel fantastic! And isn't that something to celebrate?

I was talking to my brother the other day about my program, and his experience with what I should expect in the maintenance phase and beyond. He was very clear about one thing: Should I gain the weight back, that would not be disappointing to him -- what would bother him immensely would be if I didn't enjoy the wonderful place where I am now. Folks, I have not been enjoying this moment. Well, let me clarify that. I have not been allowing myself to enjoy this time. I've been so wrapped up in my own damn head that these days of celebrating my new-found health (not to mention the Christmas holiday) have been made into a chore. By me. And this requires a serious attitude adjustment. That I commenced this morning.

If it takes me a year to lose 90 lbs., who cares? I can do it, I will do it. I'm 14 lbs. from goal. It's in my sights and I'm almost there. I continue to shed inches, even though the pound loss is slower. And I feel great. On the point that I am a "dieting novice," I am learning as I go, gathering experience and wisdom about pitfalls (i.e. the binge), obsessions, and what it takes to eat in a healthy way and maintain your weight. I go to a fabulous clinic and I am going to take advantage of the $35 weekly counseling sessions with the dietitian after my program ends. I will not just be left to my own devices after I phase off the products. I will have many avenues of support to utilize.

Today I'm going to forgive myself. Be kind, be gentle to myself. I am going to dress for work knowing that I look great, feel great, and it's five days until Christmas Eve, my favorite day of the year. I am going to enjoy my Christmas Day dinner, taking smaller portions and savoring each bite. And if I gain a pound or two at weigh-in the next day, I will absolutely survive and more than likely shed it the following week. Yes, this is a time for celebration. And that is exactly what I am going to do!