Lean On Me

Woke up this morning gripped in panic and wound up tight as a drum. Panicked about the holidays, disruptions in my eating routine, food temptations, the in-law visit, just everything. I called my Mom in Florida, who I've been talking to twice a day for the past two weeks, and just blurted out all of my frustration and fear and anxiety about gaining weight. It helped some, but I ended taking the day off of work to try and collect myself and get my act together.

Way back in this blog, I wrote about how important I think it is to build up an Optifast support network of individuals you can rely on when you are struggling with your program.  This can include the professionals and program participants at the clinic; your family; friends; and new Optifast friends you meet electronically. Well, now more than ever, I am so glad I have a good support system in place to help keep me from going over the proverbial cliff.

Several Optifast friends read yesterday's blog entry about the brownie incident and sent messages of support. They mean so much to me -- and make me realize that the only ones who truly understand what I am going through are those who have been through the Optifast program themselves. I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have these fellow Optifasters to communicate with on a daily basis. I'd probably be in an out-of-control relapse, for all I know. At this juncture, I'm terrified about maintenance, but I know with the support of the clinic, my Mom and my friends I can muddle my way through.

It's so clear to me that this weight loss journey involves so much more than just shedding all the weight. In my case, my whole relationship with food has changed. Right now, I see it as the enemy. I know this won't last forever, but that's how I view it at this point. I'm uncomfortable and I don't like it. I'll definitely be talking to the dietitian about it. Deep breath, Melissa. Everything is going to be okay.