Several things are popping up in my head as I look back. I'll just start typing out a list, and see how far I go:
1. I never thought I would be fasting for this long. I've touched on this in my blog several times. Yes, I knew going in I had weight to lose -- 80 lbs. at first, now adjusted to 90 lbs. -- but I had some delusion in my head that I would drop it all quite quickly. Problem solved. Next? Well, it has not worked out that way at all. Now, this is all due to my thyroid issues and poor metabolism, as we know. My thyroid doctor told me straight up I was in for a long haul. But I still harbored the delusion that I would prove people wrong and beat the odds.
It was only after a month into the program that I began to sense I was in for a fight. At that point, it was too late to turn back -- I didn't want to turn back -- and I began to just accept my average weekly weight loss of 2.2 lbs. Don't fall into the trap I did: The average weekly loss rate for Optifasters is 2-4 lbs. Most will lose more in the first week or two, and then slow down. Expect this before you start. BUT let me add that the weeks do start to fly by, as food becomes less and less important and is no longer the focus of a good deal of your attention. Having my products hasn't felt "laborious" for me, or pure torture -- maybe I'm lucky, but it just isn't the case. Which brings me to my next thought.
2. I never realized I would feel such safety with my Optifast routine. This is a biggie for me. No calorie counting, no "points" or other types of calculations; no decisions to be made at the grocery store. I have five products a day, 1 cup of sugar-free jello at night, and a pickle to keep my sodium level acceptable. It's that easy, from a procedural point of view. Removing the food and instituting a structured routine creates safety and there's great comfort in that. Yes, I am now allowed to have one dinner a week, but the guidelines are strict, which makes them easy to follow. Small salad. Veggies. 4 oz. of chicken or fish. I actually now find myself either going to one restaurant and ordering the same thing on the menu, or preparing that dish myself at home. I like it that way. It's predictable, comfortable. And I continue to lose weight. I feel in control and confident in my decision-making. This is important.
3. I never expected to make so many Optifast friends through the Internet, and I didn't realize at first how much I need them. The Optifast program, in my opinion, is extremely difficult to do on your own. I'll be honest: I couldn't do it. There is just so much more that goes on besides taking your product, working out and losing weight. In my opinion. Now, whether this needs to be shared is up to each person, but in my case I get great relief from the support I get from my online Optifast friends. Things crop up at inopportune times -- and because program participants come from all over the world, odds are you can locate someone to help you through a tough craving or some other struggle. We all want to get to goal. And the journey is a heck of a lot smoother if you're walking alongside somebody else. No, we don't have to be alone in this. This is a tough program in some respects, and I am so glad I have friends helping me. Seriously, I would not have made it this far, been able to stay almost completely compliant with the program if I didn't have friends and family cheering me along. I treasure the support.
4. Many holidays I could successfully navigate. But Christmas I could not. I had no trouble fasting through Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving and even on summer vacation. Yes, some "special"/restricted meals were in there, but the vast majority of the time I was full fasting. I had no desire to deviate from the plan, I was comfortable and relaxed for the most part. But Christmas -- that was a whole different ball of wax all together. I've blogged about this extensively, so I won't rehash it. But suffice to say I never want to fast through that holiday season again.
5. I am not completely comfortable in my "new" body. Strange as it may seem, the only thing that reminds me I have lost a lot of weight is when I cross my legs. It happens so effortlessly now. When I am seated at the table. In movie theaters. Under my desk. I could never do this for many, many years. So frankly, it feels odd. I also still shy away from form-fitting clothes, sexy lingerie, things that would accentuate my figure. Am I shy? Embarrassed? Awkward? Lost? It's probably a combination of these things. Most likely, I will slowly over time gain more confidence, but I'd be dishonest if I said I felt completely comfortable right now. And I've lost 78 lbs. I hope to get there soon, but I cannot rush this. It has to come from within. In the meantime, I am trying my best to accept compliments with a smile and a "thank you." And to let myself feel good about them.
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I'll end here for now and pick up later. Thanks for reading!
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