There's Pain With That Gain

I've had three types of weigh-ins. The loss, the no-change, and the gain. Love the first kind, get frustrated with the second type, and I'm almost in tears with the third. It is with a very heavy heart that I must report I had a five pound gain this week. Yes, you read that correctly. I was shocked -- I have never had more than a .4 lb. gain since I started the program. I got on the scale three times to confirm this nightmare. No, it couldn't be! Sadly, it was all too true.

How am I feeling...well, numb actually. Still shocked. Grasping for reasons why this happened. There have been some recent changes to my program. My sodium level had measured 129 -- the normal number is 135 -- so the doctor told me to add 1/8 tsp. salt to my daily soup and to cut back my daily water intake to 56 oz. I was concerned about the water restriction, but my recent lab work shows my sodium level is now 132 so the new plan is working. It seems like a no-brainer that what I'm dealing with now is water retention. I am lugging around water weight and it's showing on the scale.

My wonderful dietitian assured me that I am continuing to lose fat and inches, regardless of the water weight. But while there is some relief in that, to see my 7.7 lb. loss last week almost wiped out by this week's gain has me feeling down-trodden and discouraged. My deep concern is that a possible obsession with the scale might take root. I am frightened of this. I do not want to live my life enslaved by numbers on a scale. It's unhealthy, it's dangerous, it's a deep pit of dispair. These numbers can trap me forever. I will not let that happen.

Another woman in the clinic, who was weighed before me, was outraged by her gain. She suggested the possibility that the scale was not calibrated correctly. I left the clinic before others were weighed, so I don't know if this trend continued with other program participants. This makes me want to purchase my own scale to compare results. But given my emotional issues with the scale, I do not have one right now and I don't think it's wise for me to purchase one yet. I must be careful. The dietitian will be coaching me on overcoming my scale fears. That's going to take some time.

So for now, I am doing what I always do: Maintain full compliance with my program and follow the doctor's instructions. I will say if I continue to have significant gains, I may have to rethink my decision to do Optifast. It's such a big financial investment and to not be seeing results is unacceptable. But let's just wait and see what next week's weigh-in brings. That's all I can do.