Reflecting back on the past two days, I think that swing from losing 7.7 lbs. to a gain of 5 lbs. was something that affected me very, very deeply on an emotional level. I was not prepared for this, and it caused me much pain at first. I could not see at the time that this is an excellent learning experience for me -- so in that sense, this may have been a very good thing to happen. Now that I am calmer, and I have talked this through with others, I can see this quite clearly. I will survive. And I will continue on my program, ever-so-slowly carving away the pounds until I reach my goal.
I do wish the clinic had prepared me more fully for the possibility of large weigh-in swings. That might have helped here, and I am going to let them know that at my visit next week. I am also going to have a deeper conversation about my scale sensitivity and firm action I can undertake to stave off obsession with weigh-in numbers. I'm just not good at handling my stress associated with the scale. I admit this and I'm trying not to be ashamed of it. And I am not buying one. They need to know about that.
I forgot to remind everyone reading my blog that I have never been on a diet before, and this is part of the reason I was so rattled by this week's significant gain. I just assumed I would keep losing roughly 2.2 lbs. a week -- with occasional larger losses -- and have that minimal gain when I had my period. In other words, I had no idea this pattern could be broken, and maybe that always happens when someone is dieting. I had no clue. All I know is Optifast. I don't have experience with another weight-loss plan to use for a comparison. Well, at least I know now.
I want to wholeheartedly thank all of the wonderful people that have supported me these past few days. Your phone calls, emails, private messages and posts have helped me process this situation, learn from it, and grow from it. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I couldn't do this without you! And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Big hugs to you -- always.
And there's NO WAY I could do this without you, my friend. You are an amazing person and I know you will have continued success on this crazy journey ;-)
ReplyDeleteI am also doing Optifast (at CONCI, as a matter of fact). I originally lost over 130 pounds, then put a few pounds back on while on maintenance. I gained back a few pounds, so I'm back on Optifast. So I've been there, done that. Let me speak from experience that there will be "good" weigh-ins and "bad" ones. Take heart when you see your weight yo-yo as you lose. As you've discovered, some weeks you will lose and some weeks you'll gain. But these fluctuations are absolutely normal. The weight does come off with a little time. Patience, patience! :)
ReplyDeleteIn talking with new patients at CONCI, I've found that they (and maybe all dieters?) have this fantasy that their weight loss will be similar to the show, "The Biggest Loser." On that show, people are disappointed with a weight loss of "only" 4 pounds. Are you kidding me??!! Four pounds is four pounds! That's the way I look at it, anyway.
About your fears associated with the scale---remember your "non-scale victories" like being able to wear smaller sizes. Sometimes a loss shows up as inches lost rather than weight off the scale. More importantly, however, remember what the scale DOESN'T tell you. It doesn't tell you that you are a wonderful person who is beautiful inside and out. Never, ever forget that!
The very best of luck to you in reaching your goals!
Hello Laura! Thank you so very much for your kind, thoughtful post. It's absolutely wonderful to "meet" someone from CONCI! Yes, I was thrown for a big loop -- and I realize now all of the far-fetched notions I had about weight loss. I give that scale a lot of power -- power I need to take back. If there is one thing I hear from everyone it is "slow and steady wins the race." My family reminded me of that. I'm glad I've got this experience under my belt now. I'm continuing to move forward, one day at a time, and learning along the way. Thanks so much for reading my blog!
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