Now, this was a rather interesting time, because I deviated from my plan to go product-only and did eat a meal. I stuck exactly to the menu prescribed by the clinic: small salad; vegetables; and 4 oz. baked fish. Do I feel guilt? Well, in a way, no, because I followed the guidelines set by the clinic. But in another way, yes, because I can no longer say that I have been 100% committed to Optifast products all the way through my weight loss journey.
I find myself in a "head game" of sorts. The clinic gave me the green light for a meal out. This was not some binge. I'm still in ketosis. But I want to be a "good student" and show everyone I can be perfect. I know this is unrealistic, but I feel this way. Also, I am now contending with a budding anxiety about my weigh-in. Oh, will this always be my cross to bear? I hate it that I get this way. It's ridiculous. The "special meal" menu is designed to not add extra weight.
For those who have been completely compliant to date, I will let you know that the meal didn't kick-start some out of control desire to eat "real" food. On the contrary, in my case, it further cemented my desire to do the program and be product-compliant. Honestly, I love my routine and the products. They provide structure to my day. It's quite an easy routine to follow too. Frankly, when I was eating my meal, I kept thinking that I would rather have had my soup and shake! I know that sounds crazy, but that's how I felt!
I haven't been weighed in two weeks so I don't know where I stand. But this is okay with me. With my renewed commitment, I have absolutely no problem staying on product for as long as it takes. I know I need to lose roughly another 35 lbs. to get to goal. That will happen in due course. For now I'll just continue on my merry way, day by day.
I missed writing my blog and I'm so happy to be back in the swing of things. Thanks to all for stopping by and joining me on my journey!
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