The Slippery Slope: Am I Headed For A Relapse?

As you know, I had a clinic-approved meal out when I was on my vacation earlier this month. No, I did not gain any weight and actually lost my regular amount. Ketosis remained intact. However, a problem of sorts has cropped up. Since this meal, I have found when my husband brings his take-out dinners home, I cannot stop watching him eat, and craving a bite of his food. Because I have been restricting his diet to lo-cal dishes and cut down his carbs, he indulges on these nights with hamburgers or pizza or Asian food. All a big time no-no for me.

Bless his heart, he has asked me not to torture myself and encouraged me to leave the room and he will call me when he is done. But I become so engrossed in his food that it's hard to break away. I did manage to go upstairs this week and change the sheets on the bed. That got my mind off of it. But I'm flustered because I never really had this reoccurring problem before. Did I shoot myself in the foot by eating out in the first place? Is this why I am struggling and facing a threat of a relapse?

At this juncture, I will congratulate those who have been true to the fast and strongly encourage them to stick with it. For me, putting food in my mouth has apparently opened up a Pandora's Box full of head games. And I really don't like it. For those who have cheated or had a clinic-approved meal like me, I wonder if you are having the same problem that I am. My commitment to the full fast is being tested. I honestly didn't expect this.

Now, I can be a tough cookie, and I've been on this program for over five months. I still have a ways to go, but I've got the routine down pat and I like it. So I think I can overcome this problem and hopefully it will be temporary. But I guess the lesson I am taking away from this is don't take compliance for granted and take care with that "first bite." It could very well bite you back!

Surviving The First Week

For many, the first week they are on Optifast is the hardest. Not only is your body thrown into temporary turmoil from solid food withdrawal, but you might also start strongly doubting your decision to do the program in the first place. I know in my case, my big test came on Day 2. I was hit with such severe hunger pains that night, and the only thing that got me through was sugar-free Jello obtained from an emergency late-night run to the 24-hour grocery store. I gobbled it up in a snap. The first week was rough. Period.

Some have asked how did I make it through? Well, I think the big reason was I had enough of being overweight and suffering with back pain and embarrassment over the way I looked. I was tired of not fitting correctly into the seats at the hockey arena, having to constantly purchase clothes in bigger sizes, tired of dealing with high cholesterol and becoming winded whenever I walked up a simple flight of stairs. I was, simply put, tired of being tired.

I also came to the realization that although I loved rich food, it was only a short-lived period of enjoyment -- that had long-term consequences. There is just no way you can eat the way I was eating and not end up obese. Yes, my thyroid medication added to the problem because it automatically added extra pounds. Plus I have the terrible metabolism. But I was eating loads of butter, salt, sugar and fat. Every night. This madness had to stop. My health was going downhill. And I decided I was going to suffer through whatever unpleasantness thrown my way to break the cycle.

I had to dig deep, but I found my commitment to the products and the program grew as each day passed. Every morning when I woke up, I would say to myself, "Today I am just going to have my products. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but today I will be compliant." I kept thinking about this over and over as I struggled to get into ketosis and the blessed relief it brings from the hunger pains and desire to eat "real" food. Before I knew it, I was there and safely on my way.

To get through that tough first week and succeed on this program -- and by that I mean not just losing the weight but keeping it off -- I believe you must look at things in the "big picture" perspective. By this I mean choosing to do Optifast not to just look good in a pair of jeans. Rather, committing yourself to the program because you want to improve your health. And keep it that way. Embracing this philosophy can carry you through the entire fasting process. And beyond.

You can and will get through the initial week. And you'll be so glad when you do! You really start feeling great. Give it time and don't give up. The program really does get easier. One foot in front of the other, one day at a time. Optifast works. I'm living proof of it!

A Rant About "Bad" Foods

Oh really?

And now I offer up some thoughts on fast food, processed food, soda and other junk in the American diet:

I saw a post on the Optifast Facebook page about an individual's desire for food that is "bad" for us. You know what I'm talking about: Fast food, food in the freezer section at the grocery store, chips, soda, candy, what have you. Anything sold at a gas station comes to mind. And what do these things have that make them appealing? It's easy. Sugar and salt. And eat too much of this and we're going to get sick. Heck, we get obese, unless you have a very high metabolism. Foods like these trigger the pleasure center in our brain, and we want more. This is why I think we are not necessarily "addicted" to the food but rather how these foods make us feel.

Let's face facts: Fast food is terrible for us. I had a chance to see the documentary Supersize Me last weekend, and I strongly encourage anyone who likes McDonald's to see it. It's about a man who only eats at McDonald's for 30 days, three meals a day, and if asked by the cashier if he wants to "Supersize It," he must say yes. You can probably guess what happens. Rent the movie if you can. It will change your perception of the fast food you put into your body and the effect it has on you.

Now, this is not to say I don't like McDonald's. On the contrary, I love Big Macs. Probably always will. But those evil sandwiches contain over 1,000 calories. Same with the burritos at Chipotle, a company also owned by McDonald's. If we eat them, we are going to get into trouble. The pleasure center gets going from the jacked up sugar and salt, and then it's off to the races. We will eat until the sandwich is gone (and maybe want another one) or to the point where we are stuffed.

Let's steer clear of this madness!

And that madness includes the frozen food section of the grocery store. Have you seen how large it has become? Now that damn near everyone is overworked and pressed for time, we have turned to these processed "quick fixes" for our meals. And in my grocery, the chips, soda and beer are right near the frozen food, so all you need to do is walk 50 feet from the entrance and stock up on everything. Fresh vegetables? Those are all the way on the other side of the store! Who wants to walk the extra steps? They are more expensive to boot, and preparation from scratch takes too much time, we reason. This is a big problem, people. The roots of America's obesity epidemic.

I think we must say to ourselves, "I'm not going to eat this junk anymore!" Say it and really mean it. We need to start allocating time for food preparation -- which does not have to be fancy and complex. Simple menus can taste just as good. And great meals can be whipped up in 30 minutes or less. We can break this trend of taking the "easy way out" and actually find that we like eating healthy. All it takes is being open to the possibility. Don't allow yourself to "yearn" for the bad foods you leave behind. Good riddance, I say. You harm me and I'm not going to allow that anymore.

Yes, the "bad" food is everywhere. But no one is forcing us to eat it. To rehash the 1980s slogan: Just Say No! It's all junk. We don't need it. And seriously -- do we really want it? Let's ponder this for awhile. It could just be we don't after all.
 

Incredible Shrinking Woman, Part II

Yesterday my husband told me something interesting. He said I looked even thinner than I did when we took our trip to Maine. Now, I have only been home a week -- so I was a little surprised by the comment, but of course pleased. How could I not be?

This reminded me of that time months back when I woke up one day and suddenly my pants didn't fit anymore. I felt like I shrunk overnight. This is one of the things that amazes me about Optifast. The scale may show a slow loss rate (in my case) but when it comes to inches shed, the results are amazing. If I were only doing the program to look good in clothes, I'd wager a guess that I'd stop taking the products much sooner. BUT I am not losing sight of the very important issue of getting to the point where I have a healthy Body Mass Index (BMI) as well. I have a goal weight of 160 lbs. that will mark that point. And subsequently, I will stay compliant until I reach it.

This does, however, raise some questions: Is it possible I will look too thin? And if that is the case, will people tell me to stop the program before I reach goal? Is the BMI really as important as they say it is? I guess on the first two questions, we'll just have to wait and see. On the last question, there are some physicians who argue that weight-loss patients should ignore the BMI figure. Others, like the ones at my clinic, place great importance on it. By choice, I have placed myself under the care of the Optifast doctors, so I will follow their advice.

I am lucky to have a husband who loves me no matter how I look. He loved me at 239 lbs. and loves me where I am now, at 192 lbs. So I am not losing weight and improving my appearance to impress him. Honestly, I am doing this for my health -- and I think knowing that and keeping it in the forefront of your mind is one of the key requirements for keeping your weight off. My sneaking suspicion has always been that many who plow the weight -- and then some -- back, lost sight of how important a healthy weight and BMI is to your life. Or never had that mindset in the beginning. I'm not going to fall into that camp.

Subsequently, while I delight in being an Incredible Shrinking Woman, I know I still have a ways to go to hit my proper BMI. And that's okay. This is a journey. And for me, it's for life.      

No, You Don't Have To Live On Salad For The Rest Of Your Life!

I got a chuckle from a poster on the Optifast Facebook page who made a (laughing) comment about completing the Optifast fast stage and then having to eat salad for the rest of her life. Speaking as a gourmet cook, I can tell you that it is not only possible but actually quite fun to prepare healthy things to eat that are not just a bowl of iceberg lettuce, matchstick carrots, celery and low fat dressing! Indeed, if that were the only option available to me in order to keep my weight off, I might as well throw in the towel right now!

But no, we have a wealth of tasty things to choose from when we go into maintenance. When I move into this stage, I'll have a chance to share some actual recipes, but what I thought I'd do now is try to tempt some of you to consider exploring the true joy of cooking itself. Like anything, it requires practice -- and patience because you'll inevitably have mistakes -- but the end result is such pleasure and a wonderful sense of accomplishment. Quite similar to reaching your goal weight.

Now, I did not become a good cook overnight. Yes, I had an interest in it at a very young age (I asked Santa for a hand mixer at age 10), but I have never been to culinary school. I did not begin cooking in earnest until I got married eleven years ago, when I was 35. And I did not just jump in and create masterpieces overnight. I approached things cautiously, and sometimes with trepidation. Many mistakes were made. But the successes started to outweigh them and soon I was on a roll. My confidence grew over time.

Cooking gives us the wonderful opportunity to explore our creative side. For me, cooking is like painting a picture. Picture yourself with a piece of paper and some watercolors (or finger paint if that's easier!). I am bringing together food colors to create something beautiful. To me. I am not striving for perfection -- there is great beauty in a "looser", more free-flowing design. Rule #1: Do not try to emulate pictures of dishes you see in magazines, cookbooks and on television. Those are carefully designed and photographed in certain ways to maximize the way they look. This is not what we are shooting for at all. Yes, the recipe (and the way the creation tastes) is fabulous. But by no means should you place demands on yourself to match the picture. That takes all the fun out of things.

In addition to color, think about texture. The smooth skin of eggplant. The grainy feel of cous cous. The ripply leaves of kale. The sandy features of spices. These are all interesting and pleasurable to touch. Incorporating texture with color changes your picture, makes it even more interesting. What about smells? You can take things up another notch. Spices add exotic aromas -- and maximize flavoring as well. Herbs fill your kitchen with delightful smells as they simmer.

The great thing about cooking is you do not have to be out on a limb, winging things on your own.Yes, we all need instruction and guidance, a good "painting" teacher. Particularly when just starting out. As we delve into the world of healthy, flavorful cooking, fortunately we now have many teachers to follow. Some are good, but some are not so hot. How do we tell the "good" ones from the others? Well, some of this is trial and error. Like cooking itself, you have to sort through the good dishes from the bad ones, and this is done by trying them out. Yes, some money, effort and time is "wasted," but actually, if you think about it, you are gaining experience. And that is invaluable. Remember that making mistakes is AOK, and happens inevitably.

Which brings us back to the concept of perfection. I encourage you to allow yourself to be imperfect. Might that possibly make your dishes better tasting? Good things can come from "accidents." Cooking gives us the freedom to explore -- with no boundaries (save dietary limitations required for maintenance). What freedom! Possibilities are endless. It's as if we have a never-ending supply of painting canvases to use for life. And that's wonderful.

For me, cooking has developed into a life-long passion, and it can be the same way for you too. There's joy in the creating and joy in the eating. It's something I do for myself because it feels good, much like exercising. There's a deep satisfaction that comes from pulling together interesting things to create something special. As I mentioned, that sense of accomplishment you feel does wonders for my self-esteem. Take off on your own culinary journey. You won't regret it. I promise!  

Danger Will Robinson!

Oh no. Something very odd and frankly, quite concerning happened this evening. It's Friday and I didn't want to cook, so my husband brought home take-out Thai food. Shrimp Pad Thai to be precise. The minute I smelled it, fascination took root. And then suddenly I had a dangerous thought: "Well Melissa, you had that meal out and didn't gain any weight, so maybe you can have a small bite of his food and won't have to worry about it." No!

One of my worst fears is threatening to crop up -- the fear that eating a meal, whether prescribed or not, might lead to a relapse in my program. Thankfully, my husband laughed at me when I asked, kidding, if I could have a bite. He wouldn't let me near something that loaded with salt and carbs. But the issue is that I asked. What if he had said yes?

At this juncture, I will say to those who have been 100% compliant in their programs: don't change a thing! Stay on course and do not deviate. To those who have had meals out (hopefully ones allowed by the clinic), I say: watch out for your thinking in the weeks that follow! I find myself in a puzzling situation right now. I had that meal out and felt very comfortable returning to my full fast routine. Heck, I am thrilled about it. But suddenly this crops up. Why? I don't like it!

Perhaps I am taking for granted how relatively easy it has been for me to be compliant. I have been resting on my laurels, so to speak, and not remaining alert. I am going to strengthen my commitment, particularly because I am approaching the 50 lbs. lost milestone. I don't need to sabotage my work. I think "Expect the Unexpected" will be my new motto these days!

Approaching A Milestone!

The Big 5-0!

Thrilled with my weigh-in yesterday. I lost 3.7 lbs., which shows I can go on vacation, have a simple meal (as prescribed by the clinic), and come back and not gain weight! Now at 192 lbs., I am ever-so-close to the 50 lbs. lost marker. Hooray! At our clinic, this is when a new photo is taken and measurements are calculated to show inches lost. Frankly, I can't wait.

So this means I will soon have 30 lbs. left to lose and I will reach my goal. I can't quite believe it. Looking back, it seems like time has truly flown by. Perhaps this is because I'm older. I'm not sure about that, but it is like I started the program a few weeks ago, not 5 1/2 months ago. The Optifast products are a normal part of my day now, and I like it. Strangely, I can't imagine a day without them -- which may or may not be a good thing!

It may be time for some shopping again, this time for tops. But I'm holding off because Fall is coming, and everything on sale right now is either heavily discounted summer items or marked-up fall collection clothes. I did a quick inventory of my closet and all of my sweaters are going to be huge. Yes, yes, this is cause for celebration, but honestly I still haven't donated my "fat" clothes to Salvation Army yet, and as of now, I have no room for anything new.

Why have I held off from getting rid of the clothes that don't fit? Well, some of them are quite lovely -- and I hate to see them go. But the deeper issue is I am still worried I might be one of those people who gains all the weight back. Even though I am rock-solid in my commitment to Optifast's maintenance plan. I feel like I have to store all of my over-sized things in a plastic bin marked "fat clothes" and shove it somewhere in the attic (making sure to add mothballs of course). Sure, maybe it will just gather dust, but it will be there in case of a relapse...

But wait.

This is the kind of thinking that might be counter-productive. Might actually undermine my maintenance efforts. Perhaps I am forgetting that I need to let go of the past and instead stay in "today." I've talked about the gift of the "precious present" before. Today my body is looking great and it will only get better. Who wants outdated clothes from past seasons anyway? This is a new "me" emerging. And I like her.

So anyway, another celebration on my Optifast journey is soon in order. Another chance to take a deep breath and smile -- knowing that I may have been on a slower road to weight loss due to a poor thyroid, but I'm getting to goal. Again, thanks to all who have been supporting me along the way. I dedicate this milestone to you!  

When The Diet Works But The Dieter Doesn't

Love yourself!

I've heard a few stories lately about people who have been through Optifast and lost their weight, gained it back, and blame the Optifast program. To this I say, "Hold on a minute! Is it Optifast's fault or something tied your own devices?" Everyone who has been on Optifast knows it works. The question is: did you do your work during and after the product consumption phase?

I'd like to re-run an excerpt from a piece I found on Yahoo written by Ms. Cara Surdi:

"It has been 6 years since I did the Optifast and yes, I have gained it all back. The reason why I gained the weight back wasn't because the Optifast diet didn't work, it was because of myself. I lost sight of the importance of exercise and eating right. I gained a little here and there and wasn't too concerned. I would love to do Optifast again, but you really have to mentally prepare yourself. You have to be determined and not allow anything get in your way. For those of you struggling on any diet, it isn't the diet's fault that you didn't lose weight or keep it off; it is about self-love and dedication to living a healthier lifestyle. I think we all know this, but do not like to be held accountable for it."

I really like the part about self-love and dedication to a new lifestyle as the keys to keeping off the weight you shed with Optifast. I mean, it's pretty easy to think, hey, if I just limit carbs, fats and sugars I'll maintain a healthy weight. But in my opinion, that's not going far enough. There's more work to do. 

When I think about self-love as it pertains to my eating, it means embracing a new eating habit that nurtures my body and my well-being. This is much different from eating for "comfort," which typically drove me towards sweets and foods loaded with fat. "Nurturing" to me now means healthy, varied menus and portion control. Honestly, I do feel better when I eat this way. My body is happy. And so am I. I really like the Optifast program because all of the "bad" things are stripped out of my diet, and I feel so good right now. I want that to continue. I know if I stick to a good maintenance plan, this feeling will continue.

And then there is dedication to this new way of living and eating. I'm convinced this has to come from within, and in my case, it is something that I think I will have to continuously focus on until it becomes a comfortable habit. As I've noted previously, diets are foreign to me and food indulgences were something I never limited. There is some serious work to be done here, so I'm preparing myself mentally now. I've heard so much about people losing that dedication we need to be successful in keeping the weight off. I think I can stave this off by putting first things first -- eating wisely every day. It takes unwavering commitment. I can find that if I try.

Obviously, maintenance is on my mind again, even though I still have some months to go on the program. I guess I never stray too far away from it. Which is probably a good thing. No, I don't want to get too tied up in the future. But some things seem to have their place on the back burner, and this is one of them.  

The Best Laid Plans...

Hello dear readers! I return from my summer vacation in Maine and Vermont with vestiges of bug bites, leaky extract bottles, and crumpled Optifast boxes. What a trip. We put almost 900 miles on our trusty VW station wagon and capped off our journey with a free night in a hotel room with a jacuzzi. Exhausted from driving all day, alas I fell asleep before any romance could be rekindled!

Now, this was a rather interesting time, because I deviated from my plan to go product-only and did eat a meal. I stuck exactly to the menu prescribed by the clinic: small salad; vegetables; and 4 oz. baked fish. Do I feel guilt? Well, in a way, no, because I followed the guidelines set by the clinic. But in another way, yes, because I can no longer say that I have been 100% committed to Optifast products all the way through my weight loss journey.

I find myself in a "head game" of sorts. The clinic gave me the green light for a meal out. This was not some binge. I'm still in ketosis. But I want to be a "good student" and show everyone I can be perfect. I know this is unrealistic, but I feel this way. Also, I am now contending with a budding anxiety about my weigh-in. Oh, will this always be my cross to bear? I hate it that I get this way. It's ridiculous. The "special meal" menu is designed to not add extra weight.

For those who have been completely compliant to date, I will let you know that the meal didn't kick-start some out of control desire to eat "real" food. On the contrary, in my case, it further cemented my desire to do the program and be product-compliant. Honestly, I love my routine and the products. They provide structure to my day. It's quite an easy routine to follow too. Frankly, when I was eating my meal, I kept thinking that I would rather have had my soup and shake! I know that sounds crazy, but that's how I felt!

I haven't been weighed in two weeks so I don't know where I stand. But this is okay with me. With my renewed commitment, I have absolutely no problem staying on product for as long as it takes. I know I need to lose roughly another 35 lbs. to get to goal. That will happen in due course. For now I'll just continue on my merry way, day by day.

I missed writing my blog and I'm so happy to be back in the swing of things. Thanks to all for stopping by and joining me on my journey!  

Relief!

Pleased to report that this week's weigh-in showed an almost 4 lb. loss. So if you look at all the craziness over the past three weeks, I have averaged a 2.2 lb. loss rate per week. And this is what, historically, I have always logged. So I'm breathing a big sigh of relief tonight! As you know, that roller-coaster of big loss then big gain threw me for a quite a loop -- but I have good perspective now and I will be going on vacation with a big smile on my face.

I also had a chance to see a doctor from another one of the CONCI clinics who was filling in for our usual one. She is on vacation. We talked about my low sodium level and the prescribed addition of 1/8 tsp. salt in my daily soup and water restriction to 56 oz. per day. He said that plan was right on target. So it was like getting a second doctor's opinion, which was great!

Importantly, I spent time with the dietitian discussing my scale issues. Why I dislike them so. How I let them cause me emotional turmoil. She agreed with me that taking a "break" from the scale for a month by facing my back to it when I am weighed might not be such a bad idea. The staff would have no problem withholding the results from me for a month. I asked her if I was crazy, but she completely understood and made me feel comfortable. She didn't judge me or make light of my anxiety. Immediately, I felt tension release from my body. I'm so glad we had our talk.

So now I am starting to really focus on our departure in two days to Maine! I bought a two-week supply of products for the trip. I was at Walmart the other day and stumbled upon some Jello packs that don't require refrigeration so I'll be able to have my "treat" on my camping trip. Wonderful. And as you might recall, I'm a coffee junkie, and I have a fresh pound of Highlander Grog ground for a French Press ready to go. Mmmm...coffee at dawn at the campsite. Nothing like it.

Optifasting On The Road Again. Here we go!

So You Want To Try Optifast

Should I try it?

If you're like me, you've been unhappy about your weight for awhile. And you find yourself at that place where you know something must be done to bring your weight under control, hopefully for once and for all. From whatever source, you hear about the program called "Optifast." I knew about it because my brother did it two decades ago. I know in my case, I liked that word "fast." I wanted to lose my weight as quickly and as painlessly as possible. So I started doing a little research. And when I saw on Optifast's Facebook page that the average person loses 50 lbs. in 18-24 weeks, I was hooked.

Who wouldn't want to lose weight that quickly? It's an instant draw. A miracle. No other weight loss program, to the best of my knowledge, comes close to this projection. But is Optifast right for you? Well, that is a question only you can answer. What I can do is share with you some of the knowledge I have gained as I come closer to my five month mark. It may or may not be helpful in your decision-making process, but I'll just offer some of it up.

Before I decided to do Optifast, my husband had suggested I go to a generic nutritionist to help me lose weight. But I knew I needed a good, structured program with the food choices made for me. I needed food removed from the equation so I could focus on the behavioral issues that drive my overeating. Optifast provided that. Real food is removed. And in the United States, the clinics offer classes addressing both the behavioral issues and weight maintenance. So both of my needs were met.

The Optifast Team

I also learned from my research that Optifast, by removing food and significantly reducing your calorie intake, impacts your body in significant ways. More often than not, adjustments have to be made to maintain good health. This includes possibly adding potassium or sodium supplements to your diet; taking gall bladder medication to avoid sludge build-up; taking fiber every day to avoid constipation; decreasing existing medications, etc. Most of these potential areas of concern are identified by regular blood work. And this is where some sort of physician oversight is required. So remember that if you start on Optifast, you will need to see a physician regularly.

Cha-ching!

Very important to know is the cost of the program. There are the product costs and the doctor costs. This is not a cheap program. I will have invested thousands of dollars before I am through. Honestly, I didn't think this entirely through when I started, and don't advocate taking my approach. Go over your finances and see if this is something you can afford. Keep in mind that there is no firm date when you will reach your goal. The scale fluctuates. Cheats set you back, you have to get back into ketosis, and you'll be on the program longer.  Also, if you are on the Optifast "partial" plan, you will lose weight more slowly. I know that I'll be on the program longer than I initially thought. This could very well be the case for you too. So plan accordingly.

Lastly, I have found going on a primarily liquid diet has radically changed my lifestyle. This may not be the case for you, but I have had to make adjustments to how I spend my days and evenings. Now, my life revolved around food, so perhaps this is to be expected. But I have had to be innovative. You might encounter this, you might not. Just prepare yourself as best you can for possible lifestyle changes.

As I think of more "Lessons Learned" I'll post them. I'm here to help!

Different Countries, Different Programs

One confusing thing about the Optifast program is the products are sold in different countries -- and consumption guidelines may differ significantly. Even the product choices available vary. In Australia, for instance, Optifast offers shakes, soups, bars and desserts. In Canada, only shakes are available. In the U.S., people on the Optifast 70 plan are limited to shakes; people on the Optifast 800 plan or an Opti 70/800 combo plan can choose from shakes, soups and bars. Subsequently, this makes it impossible for individuals all around the world to follow the same program.

Some other things to consider: There are Optifast 70, 600, 700, 800 and 900 products. Not all countries carry them. These products differ according to calorie content. Under the Australian plan, I believe participants have three products a day and two cups of vegetables. I do not know what type of vegetables are allowed. In the U.S., full fasters could be limited to 5 products, 6 products, or perhaps 7 products a day. It varies, based on blood work and health issues.

There is also the Optifast "partial" plan, that allows participants to have one meal of "real" food a day. Our clinics in the U.S. provide sample menus to follow. They are very simple. Different clinics may have slightly different menus for the meals. Some clinics may allow individuals to step off the full fast and switch to the partial plan for a time. Clinics may also allow those on the full fast to have a "special occasion" meal, thus breaking the fast for a day. Again, this varies from clinic to clinic, and also depends upon the individual.

Now, one thing that I personally find very concerning is the Optifast products can be obtained through Internet sites like Ebay and Amazon. This opens the door for anyone in the world to buy the products and start the program without medical supervision. Of course, it's one thing if you are enrolled in an Optifast clinic and choose to get your products through Amazon because they are cheaper. But it is quite another matter if you just order the products and try to consume them without any knowledge of how they work and the consumption guidelines you must follow.

Of course this is just my opinion, and remember I am writing from the United States, and I go to a clinic in Columbus, Ohio. We have mandatory guidelines for weigh-ins and dietitian and doctor visits every week. We must also have blood draws every two weeks. There are strongly suggested menus to follow. My clinic puts great emphasis on long-term success, as taking the products is actually fairly easy when compared to a lifetime of maintenance behavior and eating style. The vast majority of people who lose weight on a liquid/very low calorie diet gain the weight right back in less than five years. They want to reverse this trend. And instruct us accordingly.

Also, as you know I have the thyroid problem and I feel as if I have to fight for every pound lost. I am doing the full fast, and strict compliance is very, very important to me, so I write from that perspective (if you haven't noticed already!). So I may sound "preachy" from time to time, although that is not my intention. I will say I feel an incredible sense of accomplishment from embracing a "product only" lifestyle, and honestly it hasn't been too hard. I am lucky perhaps. And do remember the clinic has given me a green light for dining out with my husband at some point this month, and that is in the back of my mind.

Absolutely, there are some things we do all share. Struggles with cravings and cheats come to mind! Side effects from the products, compliance issues, emotional obstacles, and the challenge of many other lifestyle changes one must make while on the Optifast program are similar. There are many things we have in common. Just remember when it comes to your program, there is no one set way to do this. Keep that in mind to avoid confusion.    

On The Road Again!

Seeing as we are a "fly by the seat of our pants" couple, my husband and I have recently decided to depart on a 10-day camping summer sojourn next week -- to Maine! It's roughly a 20-hour drive from Columbus, but we will be stopping at various points along the way. A whirlwind of phone calls for reservations has started and it will be a mad dash for supplies this week-end. Organized in advance, we are not. Typical!

I have decided this will be a full-fast vacation. I'm excited about it, actually, because I want to prove to myself that I can go on vacation, maintain my compliance, and actually have some fun! I will be purchasing two weeks of product to tide me over. This will include the bars -- I know, I know, they are a weakness for me. But we will be doing some challenging hiking and white water rafting, plus kayaking and I must have those bars to carry for extra energy. There's no way around it. Making a shake in a raft or on a mountain isn't going to work.

But I will be able to make my soup by the campfire, and sip a shake whilst cooking the bacon and eggs for my husband. And oh, that morning coffee. There is nothing like it when you are out in the wilderness. I also sleep so well. So does my husband. We will be in a "tent cabin" -- it's a canvas tent on a platform with a screen door, two beds with a foam pad and electricity inside. No need to bring our own tent, which takes up space in the car and calls for set-up and break-down. This will be so much easier.

I'm also looking forward to getting away from the weekly weigh-in for awhile. I need a break from it. My mind will be free of worry and I can get things in perspective. I am feeling so much better today than I have in days past. It's wonderful. This should be an exciting getaway. On the road again. Hooray!

Here Comes The Calvary!

Oh, I am blessed. Honestly, tears are brimming in my eyes as I think about all of my family members and fellow Optifasters who have taken time from their busy days to offer comfort and words of encouragement to me during this time of my emotional turmoil. I never knew just how powerful a good Optifast support system can be. I am a very lucky woman. Here's what I have taken from our conversations:

Reflecting back on the past two days, I think that swing from losing 7.7 lbs. to a gain of 5 lbs. was something that affected me very, very deeply on an emotional level. I was not prepared for this, and it caused me much pain at first. I could not see at the time that this is an excellent learning experience for me -- so in that sense, this may have been a very good thing to happen. Now that I am calmer, and I have talked this through with others, I can see this quite clearly. I will survive. And I will continue on my program, ever-so-slowly carving away the pounds until I reach my goal.

I do wish the clinic had prepared me more fully for the possibility of large weigh-in swings. That might have helped here, and I am going to let them know that at my visit next week. I am also going to have a deeper conversation about my scale sensitivity and firm action I can undertake to stave off obsession with weigh-in numbers. I'm just not good at handling my stress associated with the scale. I admit this and I'm trying not to be ashamed of it. And I am not buying one. They need to know about that.

I forgot to remind everyone reading my blog that I have never been on a diet before, and this is part of the reason I was so rattled by this week's significant gain. I just assumed I would keep losing roughly 2.2 lbs. a week -- with occasional larger losses -- and have that minimal gain when I had my period. In other words, I had no idea this pattern could be broken, and maybe that always happens when someone is dieting. I had no clue. All I know is Optifast. I don't have experience with another weight-loss plan to use for a comparison. Well, at least I know now.

I want to wholeheartedly thank all of the wonderful people that have supported me these past few days. Your phone calls, emails, private messages and posts have helped me process this situation, learn from it, and grow from it. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I couldn't do this without you! And I mean that from the bottom of my heart. Big hugs to you -- always.    

My Brother "Weighs In"

After a terrible night's sleep, I awoke very early this morning almost in tears about my weigh-in yesterday. I felt like I was in an emotional downward spiral, and it scared me. I didn't want to wake my husband up because he has not been sleeping well lately. So I did the next best thing: I called my baby brother.

As you may recall, my brother did Optifast in the 1980s, when only the Optifast 70 plan was available. No soups, no bars, and he didn't use any flavoring for the shakes. I have no idea how he did it. Ever so wise is he when it comes to weight loss on Optifast. He also has a terrible metabolic rate like I do, and knows first-hand how that affects the individual's Optifast program. And there's another good thing about him: he's a practicing psychologist so when it comes to emotional issues regarding weight, he's got a very sharp mind to utilize to help me process my turmoil.

The very first thing he said to me was to stop posting my losses and gains on Facebook. Such behavior continues to reinforce in me that these numbers are paramount to everything else. As someone who is extremely sensitive to weight numbers (and even scales, for that matter), I must cease doing this immediately. There is also the "weight tracker" I used to have on this blog. I have now removed it. Unfortunately, it is not something that is good for me.

I do have the option of facing my back to the scale so I don't have to see any numbers at all. This was a practice I followed before I started Optifast. However, my brother was completely against this. He told me to face my fears head on -- don't avoid them and let them fester. Look at that number and take it for what it is: a snap-shot of a moment in time.

He also let me know that he was concerned about the 7.7 lb. weight loss last week, meaning he had a sneaking suspicion I would have a gain this week. That's just too significant a loss for someone with a thyroid disorder. And finally, he reinforced -- yet again -- what I need to know: I am in a marathon. I am not running a sprint. He is projecting I will be on Optifast into December. I shudder at that, and think about quitting, but I know I can't. I feel too healthy -- heck, I am healthy -- and I really like my program.

Now, I really want to emphasize that these are my issues and not yours! I know there is great pride and joy with every pound lost and you must celebrate this with friends and loved ones. Plus watching those pounds drop on the scale make you feel so good and motivate you more each time. Just know for me that I have to take precautions due to emotional issues. That's just the way it is.

I also need to let everyone know that regardless of what that number says on the scale, I am still continuing to shed inches like crazy. My body is burning fat at a nice clip. That has not stopped. There is a transformation going on in my appearance, regardless of what the scale says. So I'm trying to keep that in mind.

I want to take a moment to thank a very dear Optifast friend who is helping me through this crisis. I am so lucky to have made new friendships along my journey. A big hug to her. She has helped more than she will ever know.

There's Pain With That Gain

I've had three types of weigh-ins. The loss, the no-change, and the gain. Love the first kind, get frustrated with the second type, and I'm almost in tears with the third. It is with a very heavy heart that I must report I had a five pound gain this week. Yes, you read that correctly. I was shocked -- I have never had more than a .4 lb. gain since I started the program. I got on the scale three times to confirm this nightmare. No, it couldn't be! Sadly, it was all too true.

How am I feeling...well, numb actually. Still shocked. Grasping for reasons why this happened. There have been some recent changes to my program. My sodium level had measured 129 -- the normal number is 135 -- so the doctor told me to add 1/8 tsp. salt to my daily soup and to cut back my daily water intake to 56 oz. I was concerned about the water restriction, but my recent lab work shows my sodium level is now 132 so the new plan is working. It seems like a no-brainer that what I'm dealing with now is water retention. I am lugging around water weight and it's showing on the scale.

My wonderful dietitian assured me that I am continuing to lose fat and inches, regardless of the water weight. But while there is some relief in that, to see my 7.7 lb. loss last week almost wiped out by this week's gain has me feeling down-trodden and discouraged. My deep concern is that a possible obsession with the scale might take root. I am frightened of this. I do not want to live my life enslaved by numbers on a scale. It's unhealthy, it's dangerous, it's a deep pit of dispair. These numbers can trap me forever. I will not let that happen.

Another woman in the clinic, who was weighed before me, was outraged by her gain. She suggested the possibility that the scale was not calibrated correctly. I left the clinic before others were weighed, so I don't know if this trend continued with other program participants. This makes me want to purchase my own scale to compare results. But given my emotional issues with the scale, I do not have one right now and I don't think it's wise for me to purchase one yet. I must be careful. The dietitian will be coaching me on overcoming my scale fears. That's going to take some time.

So for now, I am doing what I always do: Maintain full compliance with my program and follow the doctor's instructions. I will say if I continue to have significant gains, I may have to rethink my decision to do Optifast. It's such a big financial investment and to not be seeing results is unacceptable. But let's just wait and see what next week's weigh-in brings. That's all I can do.