Attack Of The Shrimp

So I have been cooking for my husband daily, whilst I have my Optifast products, with no problem. I have prepared his dinners for weeks and never once had any urge to taste my handiwork. Until today. It was the Bombay Shrimp. And it almost did me in!

It's not as if today was any different from another. I had my shakes as usual, my water, and I was chewing gum whilst I cooked (recommendation from the clinic). I had my chicken soup, which I love, lined up and ready to go. This is our ritual -- I prepare and serve his food and then make my soup and sit and eat with him. But just after I put his serving in a bowl, it struck.

Look at all those extra shrimp in the pan. Plump and pink. Fragrant. Popping just one in my mouth would be so easy...Wait. Stop the insanity! I immediately threw the lid on the pan and pushed it to the back burner.

The Mistake: I made too much food for him to eat. He does not need his leftovers tomorrow. Yet I prepared a dish for two people. The original recipe resulted in four servings so I halved it, thinking I would give him a hearty serving. It was a shrimp dish, after all, and he loves shrimp. But although I filled his bowl, there was plenty left over. Danger!

Once I had my soup and my final shake for the day, I was satiated and back in control. But I am a little rattled by the experience. Particularly because it was unexpected. I guess I'm one who doesn't like surprises -- I like to have a daily routine that is familiar. My takeaway from this incident is I must make certain I limit the amount of food I serve and I need to have an awareness of the possibility that I might get a strong solid food craving at any time. No matter how well things have been going.

My two biggest fears are lapsing in the program and gaining all my weight back. Yes, I will forgive myself if either happens. There's no point berating yourself for weight gain. Most struggle with it, whether they are on Optifast or not. But I do so want to succeed. I have never wanted anything so much. To be free of this extra weight. To no longer be considered "obese." To be healthy.

This said, today I commit myself even more strongly to my program. I will work hard to continue to have the success I have had throughout my journey. Day by day, month by month, my goal will materialize if I work for it.