Lazy Graze

Did someone say popcorn?

I can see quite clearly now that my two biggest problems with maintenance are going to be a.) the strong desire to graze at night and b.) breaking the desire to be sedentary. Now, with a kitchen stocked with only healthy items, the caloric intake from my nightly sojourns into the "battleground" is curbed, but I know darn well that I shouldn't even be in there in the first place. And on the laziness, I'm going to get brutally honest here and just admit this up front: I am forcing myself to get out and walk every day. I hate it. Plain and simple.

So far, the night eating has been the following: my "concoction" of plain, 0% fat Stonyfield yogurt, Fiber One cereal, berries (alternates between strawberries, raspberries or blueberries) and occasionally a few walnut, pecan or almond pieces. On very, very limited occasions, I will take one Ghiradelli dark chocolate square (about 65 calories) and crumble that up and toss it in there too. I typically have this every night, about an hour after dinner.

But then the dilemma starts. After about 30 minutes, I start to feel a craving for something else. I am not hungry. This I need to emphasize. I start thinking about what is in the kitchen that I could get. A 100-calorie bag of popcorn? A string cheese and some low fat, whole grain Wheat Thins? A slice or two of thin sliced turkey deli meat? I know I don't need it, that I'd feel guilty if I ate it, but I keep thinking about it. Some nights, I'll make the popcorn. Others, I'll go for the string cheese. Last night, I wanted the popcorn, but stopped myself and just went up to bed, did a little bit of reading, and fell asleep. This morning, I feel a lot of relief that I followed that strategy.

What is also helping is I am pushing through my techno-newbiness and I set up an account at MyFitnessPal.com (it's free) and I log in everything I ate for the day. My "target" caloric intake according to them is 1,400 calories a day, and I make sure to never, ever go over that -- so far I've been under it every day. Subsequently, my weight is staying the same -- 158/159 lbs., according to the day. Actually, my morning weigh-ins register 156/157 lbs., so take your pick. But if I give in to the grazing urges, I'm going to go over my caloric limit. That's a fact, plain and simple.

Now, it's fairly obvious that anyone who has a solid exercise routine in place is going to be able to offset the extra calories and maintain their weight. And there are many exercise options available, whether it is the dead of winter or sweltering summer. Of course, I have many, many friends raving about how wonderful exercise is, embracing it with gusto, religiously following their routine. But folks, I'm just not that way. Sure, when I was younger I committed myself wholeheartedly to daily work-outs. I've had trainers. Swam a mile in the pool five days a week and took water aerobics classes.

But now -- it's almost torture bundling up for my daily walk with the Bassets. I do not want to go. Granted, it's about 10 degrees outside and who would want to go outside in that? But I have to and I do. And I rush my poor angels as quick as I can so I can get back in the warm house, into my recliner, and bundled up nicely with some blankets and a cup of hot tea. Some aren't going to admit they hate exercise, but I'm telling you right now I resist it, it is not fun, and if I could get away with not doing it, I would. Clearly, an attitude adjustment is necessary.

So what I need to work on is avoiding becoming a "Lazy Grazer." In other words, halting any movement back down the path to the "me" prior to joining the Optifast program. This is going to be very, very difficult. I know it and I'm not going to sugar-coat it. I'm not going to pretend I can effortlessly ease into this committed exerciser/controlled calorie consumer. Just forget about that. On some days I have to fight tooth and nail to keep walking the healthy path. I get frustrated. Sometimes mad. I want to be back full fasting again. But, that is not going to happen. Forward I must go. Accepting the difficulties, working my way through them.