Working In "Phases"

Gathering cobwebs?

Sitting here, I am thinking that I am someone that likes to tackle a problem in "phases" versus multi-tasking it to get the end result. I've been thinking in earnest about my great resistance to exercise right now, and trying to come up with an explanation of why this is so. What prompts this is I had my first maintenance class two nights ago and we were going to go around the table and each talk about our daily exercise routines. I just froze -- I instantly felt very, very uncomfortable, because I knew I would hear stories about people working out religiously, five days a week, and power-walking, and I would have to meekly toss out some pathetic example of something, anything. Normally quite talkative, I did not want to speak. Thankfully, we ran out of time and I didn't have to. But clearly, I had a big problem on my hands.

The clinic stresses exercise so much, and of course I know why. It's not rocket science that a healthy diet, coupled with regular exercise, makes weight maintenance possible. For many, the exercise requirement poses no problem. And it didn't for me, years back. But now, it is like a big mountain I must (literally) climb and I am failing miserably. I know there just has to be others facing this similar situation. I cannot be alone. We are quite familiar with exercise, have successfully integrated it into our lives in the past, know the physical and emotional benefits it provides. We know what to do, how to do it, when to do it. What's not as clear is why we don't do it.

Yes, some can call us lazy, we will say we are over-worked, tired, there is no time -- and every excuse will be met with a battery of reasons, justifications and suggestions for changing the behavior. Yet we do not budge. My husband is at me every single day to do something. He is relentless and lately, I have been getting resentful. I guess I feel like saying, "Look -- I spent 9 1/2 months on a liquid diet and you're still not satisfied? Who do you think I am, Wonder Woman?"

In order to stay 100% committed to my Optifast program, I had to channel most of my waking thinking and action on taking those products every day and not cheating. That was a huge deal for me. I am seeing that I am someone that has to go in "all the way" to get the desired outcome. Incorporating exercise into the equation started to get difficult for me. I did not have enough "obsessiveness" left in the tank to commit religiously to a 4-times a week workout schedule. It just wasn't there. Yes, I take my dogs on long walks every day, and that is good. But it is not going to give you the satisfaction of a fast walk or work-out. That's a fact.

It's dawning on me crystal clear that Optifast multi-tasking -- doing a full fast coupled with a successful daily exercise routine -- is just not one of my strong suits. I'm not using this as an excuse -- it's just a statement of fact. I have tunnel vision, I'm basically only capable of obsessing on one thing, as far as the program goes. But let's step back and try to see how to turn this into a positive. My full fasting phase is through. Right now, I am in the transitioning phase, gearing up for the diet maintenance phase. And I think at that juncture, I will be finally ready to move into the exercise phase.

My plan is to locate a trainer. Now that I buy very few Optifast products and no longer have to pay for doctor visits, I have the financial resources available. I cannot be left to my own devices. And if I know I am making a financial investment, nothing motivates me more to do something. I also like set, pre-established times for exercising. I need a strict routine, for time-budgeting purposes. Working with a trainer will give me that.

As far as my husband's nagging goes, I am going to try and have a lengthy talk with him about my plan of attack. I am going to let him know that when the weather gets nicer, I will join him more for the 3-mile walks. I want to go to some local parks. I just need some breathing room, some time to get re-focused on this new phase. I am getting comfortable with my new diet. The exercise will come. I am not going to beat myself up. And if you are like me, don't beat yourself up either. We all go at our own pace. And there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Onward we go.