And The Frustration Sets In

So I am now about 17 lbs. to go until goal. I am coming up on seven months on the Optifast products, and by my calculations and given my average weight loss per week (2-2.2 lbs.), I am looking at roughly two more months of fasting. Some on Optifast might think that this is a heck of a long time to lose 80 lbs., but I guess for someone with a terrible metabolic rate, it's fairly normal. Besides, my brother told me to expect up to one full year on products to carve the weight off, so I guess I am coming out ahead of the game.

But instead of celebrating and enjoying where I am today, an incredible sense of frustration has crept into my consciousness. Come to think of it, it started to take hold when I began having my one limited/special meal out a week as allowed by the clinic. What is happening is I fast all week, interrupt for one meal, then resume fasting. It's throwing me for a loop mentally. Physically, I feel fine, and I am in ketosis and losing weight. My addition of the pickle has brought my sodium level back up and I have energy again. But mentally, I am getting confused and feel out of sorts.

So I am at a crossroads here. Do I cease the meals out, even though I enjoy being served after months of cooking for my husband while I don't eat it? I never take my product to restaurants -- I just cannot do that -- and it has been wonderful being able to go out and order my own meal. Do I cut off that experience? Or do I just grit my teeth and keep doing what I am doing, and suffer silently with the frustration until I ultimately reach goal?

I am full of questions this morning. Importantly, I will be discussing all of this with the dietitian when I go in for my weekly weigh-in on Wednesday. I can get some guidance. I am almost to the finish line, and I can do this. I just try to be strong and positive all the time and today I feel a little shaky.