Am I A Failure?

As you know, I stay close to the clinic -- even though I have gained some weight back. I keep attending the free class sessions so I can stay in close touch with program participants and the staff. It motivates them and heck, it motivates me.

Now, it's true that I feel a twinge uncomfortable during these meetings because I could not hold my goal weight and I'm up 15 lbs. I do not want to deter anyone from reaching their goal or give the impression that they are destined for weight gain too. I know how focused I was about hitting goal and holding it forever. And that did not come to pass for me. So there are inevitable feelings of "failure" that I carry with me.

I think that many, many people contend with this sense of being a failure if they gain their weight back after Optifasting. Some of us were on product for a very long period of time and the result was massive physical change, improved health, and dramatically improved self esteem. All positives. There is a great sense of accomplishment and in my case, it was one of the greatest things I have achieved in my life. And of course this feels great.

But -- and this is a big but -- as my weight has crept up, regardless of the valid reasons why, this sense of being a failure has grown. There are times when I am afraid of going to the clinic, and I have talked to folks who felt the same way. For me, I feel like I have let someone down. Millie and Kathy? My frugal husband? Myself? I am fighting a small skirmish here to hold back these failure feelings so they don't keep me away from the clinic. I need to be there, I want to be there.

I know in my heart of hearts if I stop going to the clinic, my weight gain could start really spiraling upward. When I am around my "comrades in arms" and see them working so hard to bring their weight under control, it keeps me focused and committed. Importantly, it reaffirms that I am not alone in all of this. Also, Millie and Kathy provide a wealth of current information that I would not see if I were not there. I'm like a sponge when it comes to this stuff. I can never learn enough about weight management. Yes, the clinic is a resource I must use.

I think it may come down to me biting back these "failure feelings" right now and just keep driving down to the clinic on Wednesday afternoons, attending class, until I feel comfortable and relaxed. There is a Latin phrase, "Repetitio est mater studiorum." Repetition is the mother of learning. Keep going to the classes and seeing my friends. Feel better about myself. Repeat.

If you are gaining your weight back after reaching goal, I strongly encourage you to attend these free sessions if it's an option for you. Let's check those failure feelings at the door. That's what I'm going to try to do. I may find that true freedom and happiness lies within.