Success: Expecting The Unexpected

As you know, I like to accompany my posts with a picture or two to "illustrate" a point(s) I am making. Some I find on my own, and others I see posted by Facebook friends on my News Feed or on the Optifast Chat Support board. Well, a very dear Optifast friend posted this image the other day and it made me smile broadly. Sometimes a picture just really resonates with how you are feeling at that point in time -- and this one surely does.

When I started my Optifast journey, I can honestly say that I was almost solely focused on getting my weight off. Yes, I wanted to do this for my health and to improve my self esteem. But what I had was tunnel vision -- strict compliance, and watching the clinic scale move down. My pound loss was slow, but the inches came off more quickly. I faithfully attended the class sessions, read up on emotional eating and the things to do to succeed in maintenance. Subsequently, the drawing on the left is what I expected, for the most part, when I reached goal and hit maintenance.

Now, I wasn't fooling myself. I knew maintenance would be hard. But I'm steadfast once I set my mind to something. I had the tools, the drive, and the common sense to put everything into motion. I never stray from my clinic. I know how to cook. I have sworn off of fast food. But if there's one thing I now know about my maintenance journey it's expect the unexpected -- because the best laid plans often go awry.

I've written about my scale obsession, and how that has negatively affected my mood, led to anxiety attacks, and intolerable frustration. There have been the random binges, which usher in shame. And then the guilt when I indulge in something more caloric and fattening. Suddenly I found my "Success Line" is in actuality the one on the right, and I am left to wonder: Can I handle this? Will I make it through this twisty "mess"? Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

Success, for me right now, is surviving day to day in maintenance. I never forget Millie's words that this is about "imperfect progress." I hold on to that wisdom tightly. For me, the dream of a straight arrow is just that -- a dream. But I'm glad I've woken up. Reality must be faced, no matter how difficult. My eyes are fully open, and I think that's key. My line is a squiggle. That straightens out in the end.