I thought I'd provide a summary of the things I've experienced since I started my "maintenance journey" in January:
1. I've been on an emotional roller coaster. Now, this may be because I have never been on a diet, never avoided cooking and eating fattening foods, and always ordered whatever the heck I wanted at restaurants. Now that I'm on my fiber/protein-based maintenance diet, my eating has radically changed, and that's ushered in feelings of frustration, guilt when I deviate from my routine, a little bit of wistfulness, and inevitably fear that I will gain all my weight back if I let things slip. I didn't expect these feelings -- ones that can be overwhelming at times -- when I was Optifasting. But there's good news: I have located books addressing how to manage these emotions, and I'm getting the tools to keep them under control.
2. I've gained some weight. Currently, I'm around 170 lbs., roughly 10 lbs. above my goal. Am I scared? You bet. As I've indicated in a previous post, I constantly flip from believing I have to jump back on Optifast for a month and remove food completely again, to thinking I stay the course with my diet and make the necessary adjustments to it to lose weight, versus maintain weight. Right now I'm sticking with my diet and have halted our dinners out. I'm questioning doing Optifast again because of the cost, and I know my weekly loss rate is very low. Can I summon up the patience and commitment to go through it all again? I wonder.
3. Exercise still poses a problem for me. I'm frustrated. I really began embracing exercise when I first moved into maintenance, but my motivation ebbs, and I stop, then start up again, then stop, etc. etc. Right now I'm back to walking my mile every day, and my husband and I are playing tennis tomorrow and going for a bike ride on Sunday. But things aren't consistent and I'm deeply concerned. Folks, I just don't (right now) like exercise. And I feel guilty and "less-than" and destined for failure. It's not something I want to do, it's something I make myself do. I pray this will change. Honestly, I do.
4. I need my nutritionist, clinic friends and Facebook friends more than ever. Being able to see Millie on a regular basis, mingle with the Optifast participants before and after our weekly class, and connect with my Optifast Facebook friends daily is helping me keep this 10 lb. weight gain capped right now. Accountability at the clinic, unwavering support (and sometimes needed "tough love") online is keeping my commitment to a healthy lifestyle alive. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to maintain your weight loss after Optifasting without this kind of support. I couldn't do it. I'm blessed.
5. I may be struggling, but I'm gaining more experience and wisdom with each day. I've viewed my entire Optifast experience -- from being on product to now being in maintenance -- as a journey. On a road with potholes, that requires hikes up and down hills, sometimes littered with obstacles that can make me stumble. Millie likens maintenance to a Revolutionary "battle" and I really like that. I held a few pounds under my goal during my initial months of maintenance, and then around the fifth month, things started to slide. But this is just the first skirmish -- the war is not over, not by a long shot. I've got 10 lbs. to shed and I'm not giving up. I can do this. I will do this. From past vacations and dinners out, I know now what caused the weight gain. So I can make necessary adjustments. I learn more and more about living a healthy lifestyle from my clinic classes and books I read. I've always believed in "the power of positive thinking." That's what I'm embracing now.
So onward, little soldier. You've been promoted to lieutenant. Grab your musket and let's go!
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