At Ease, Soldier

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my predicament with my vacation weight gain, and sending emails to Millie and Kathy for advice as to how to handle the situation. In addition, I've been reading "50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food" and I'm finding that very insightful and comforting. I'm coming to the conclusion that I've pretty much got all the stressors in my life under control, with the exception of the weight issue -- and if I can come to grips with it/handle it, things will be optimal in my life.

Here's the upshot, I think: I can go ahead and start Optifasting again to get myself down to 160 lbs. (and beyond), but if I don't address the emotional eating and my unwillingness to make healthy eating choices at restaurants; find more balance in my eating routine during the week; exercise more; and just embrace a more relaxed mindset, I'm going to gain the weight right back again. End of story. This is not an example of Optifast being evil, or not working, or being a bad program to follow if you want to lose weight. On the contrary, Optifast is a great option for losing weight -- particularly if you have lots of weight to lose. But maintenance is the real kicker, has always been the real deal, and I've found the emotional behavioral work that has to be done to be just as important as exercise and counting calories.

Acting on Millie's advice, I have stopped weighing myself at home. I am going to only weigh at the clinic on Wednesdays. I consider tomorrow's weigh in to be very similar in some respects to my first weigh in when I started the program. It's my starting point, and I will move forward from there. I am back on my normal eating routine, played tennis last night and we are playing again this evening, continuing to seek out support on Facebook, and doing lots of deep breathing to calm my anxiety. My husband is a great support, as are members of my family.

I do feel "thick" and personally, I notice the gain in the mirror and when I wear clothes. But I was wise to buy clothes that were still a little big on me as I neared goal weight. I guess I anticipated all along I would gain some weight back. So I don't feel much guilt about the money I have spent on a new wardrobe. It has not been wasted (yet).

So tomorrow starts my new program of nipping weight gain in the bud. Actually, halting gain and bringing it back down. In a way, I'm looking forward to it. As always, onward we go, One Day At A Time, One Pound At A Time. Ready, set, go!