I'm filled with swirling thoughts today. After weighing in at 170 lbs. last week, I had a good discussion with the dietitian about resetting my goal weight from 160 lbs. to 150 lbs. I brought it up. At 150 lbs., my BMI would be 24.6 -- firmly in the "healthy" range, which is where I truly want to be. I selected 160 lbs. as the goal back in March, and although my BMI would register at 26.2 -- low end of the "overweight" range -- I was initially okay with that because it seemed like a good weight I could maintain. Besides, it was 80 lbs. away, and that seemed like a lot of weight to drop. And I figured I'd be sick of shakes and soups by then!
But here I find myself 10 lbs. away from goal and I'm seriously considering shedding more. Actually, much more is involved than just the BMI issue. Frankly, I'm quite nervous about going back on "real" food every day. I am deeply, deeply concerned about gaining all my weight back. I'm not kidding myself -- many, many people gain their weight right back after stopping the products. Discipline goes straight out the window and the "slippage" starts. First it's 5 lbs. gained back, then 10 lbs., then so on and so on, and soon you are justifying eating as you did before and it's game over.
I do NOT want to go there -- frankly, I can't stomach the thought of wasting thousands of dollars to shed this weight, only to gain it all right back. That's just not acceptable to me. Yet the flip side of all this is can I continue to plow money into the program month after month? It's not that I don't have the resources, but this has been an incredible outlay of cash. As you know, I am only averaging about 10 lbs. lost a month, and this is going to slow down as I get closer to goal. So I am struggling with guilt right now and that's not comfortable.
(I'm getting some excellent feedback about this on the Facebook Optifast Chat Support page. I hope you've had a chance to swing by there and read some posts and see if you feel comfortable posting something yourself. I think when we start feeling guilty, about anything really -- cost, cheats, relapses, etc. -- the Facebook page really helps.)
I just concluded a good talk with my Mom about pushing forward with a new goal weight. She said go for it, despite the extra cash outlay. We reasoned that I'm on product now, I'm comfortable with it, and why not just continue until I hit 150 lbs. I also remembered that Christmas is coming, and that means Santa will leave some cash in my stocking, plus the boss will give me my end-of-year bonus. You know, I think my mind is slowly "making itself up." Well, perhaps I'll be ringing in the New Year with a banana-flavored Optifast shake. I can do that. Welcome 2013!
My dear friend,
ReplyDeleteYou're doing the healthy thing by checking with your dietician first. There are times when we come up with ideas and they sound good in our heads, but make no sense. That's exactly why I'm so glad I'm working with a medical professional ... they know better than I do! You have every right to worry about transitioning back to food. Being on shakes and soups certainly makes the decision making easier, as I have learned for myself as well, so if you're feeling comfy with continuing, that's the most loving thing you can do for yourself. The money is hard to part with, but parting with the extra pounds makes it easier. So proud of you for taking good care of yourself!
Well I just typed up this long comment and my computer froze before I could send it. Basically my thought/question was: Have you considered going to a one meal / day partial fast for the remaining 10 pounds (after you get down to your original goal)? It would still be expensive but also very regimented. You already incorporate one special meal / week into your current plan. Did you see your weight loss slow down when you did that? It seems that a partial fast might help you introduce more food gradually and possibly help reduce your anxiety about the food at the same time. To me, you seem to be extremely level-headed and focused and realize what is at stake...I think under the care of the clinic and dietician your last 10 pounds could be used as a great tool and opportunity to learn what you can handle calorie-wise ... you'll have to do it pretty soon anyway. It also seems like I have read that people continue to lose during their maintenance phase until they get everything figured out. Who knows, the change up in extra food / calories might be a enough of a change for your metabolism and the weight could drop even faster. If it doesn't work after a week or two you can just switch back to the full fast - probably having learned some lessons from the experience. Again, seems like a great time to play around with it since you would have already surpassed your original goal - everything else is kinda a bonus!
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