Friend or Foe: The Bathing Suit

Ah yes, it has come to that time. It's in the high 90s today, and my family is gathering for a pool party this afternoon. And you know what that means: bathing suit time! All the ladies will inevitably shudder, because we know this is a garment that is not too forgiving. Everything is out there for all to see. It's no wonder some of us just stop sunning altogether. Talk about vulnerability!

But I have decided that I am going to embrace this event with gusto. I have always been a "water baby." I learned to swim at age two and I was tackling tough waves in the Atlantic Ocean as a toddler. I was on the swim team in high school and my workouts in the past incorporated a one-mile lap swim in the pool. I really, really enjoy this activity. And I will not let my weight keep me from enjoying something I love.

Now, what is uplifting to me right now is the bathing suit I currently have was purchased last year, before I started Optifast. And today, I am (pardon the pun) "swimming" in it! Yes, I still am overweight, but the suit is definitely too big. And I'm absolutely thrilled about that! Sure, I could go out and purchase a new one, and maybe I will do that, but I'm going to wear this one today to show off my progress to my loved ones. I've earned it!

I am also looking forward to getting some sun. I am very pale right now --my husband even commented on it-- and there is nothing like a little color to perk things up. I am careful to use sunscreen, even though I tan very easily. That's something we all should do, given the strength of the rays today. My days of using Baby Oil (back in the 1970s) are over!

So for the first time in a long time, I am really looking forward to donning a suit. I may not look the sexiest at the pool, but I couldn't care less. Today, my bathing suit is my best friend. And isn't that a wonderful thing!

Some Words About Program Cost

Well, if you have already started the Optifast program, you know this already: Optifast isn't cheap. Even though you lose a good deal of weight in a shorter period of time than you would with other programs, it comes at a financial cost. And a big one at that.

Right off the bat, there is a very expensive initial examination to determine your BMI, metabolic rate, and a host of other things. I paid in excess of $500 for that. We must pay for weekly doctor visits, lab work every two weeks and the products. This works out to be for me, on average, $170 a week. I buy Splenda, a fiber supplement, Jello, flavored extracts and exotic spices. And that's another cost.

Now, keep in mind a few things. Program costs vary according to where you are in the country. Some insurance plans may cover a portion of your expenses. (Mine does not.)  I am on a combo Optifast 70/800 plan and have five products a day. You may have more or less. That affects your bottom line too. If you are doing the program overseas, you may not have the doctor and lab costs. But basically, we can all expect to part with a good chunk of change just on the products.

Which prompts the question: Is it worth it?

I would say "yes" for a number of reasons. First, I consider Optifast as an excellent investment in "me." I want to be healthy and happy and I am thrilled that I have found a program I like that will get me to this goal. This is not just about the weight loss -- this is about improving my overall health, and that includes lowering my cholesterol, which had reached a concerning level due to my budding obesity. I've already dropped from a 150 LDL to 99, putting me in the healthy zone. Mission accomplished!

Second, the Optifast program in the U.S. is not focused solely on products. The Optifast clinics offer extensive educational information and talks about weight maintenance after you come off of the products. This is so important for all of us, as many, many people who lose weight on a liquid diet gain it back eventually. And no one wants to be one of those folks. Of particular interest to me are the examples given of sample maintenance menus to prepare. As a cook who was dedicated to butter, salt and sugar, I have to go back to the proverbial drawing board on this. I really appreciate the education I am receiving.

And third, I have never felt so healthy in my life. I had fallen into a pattern of never eating breakfast or lunch, only dinner (and a large one at that) with grazing all night long. On my Optifast plan, I space five products out throughout the day and I feel great. I am never hungry. I am drinking lots of water and my body definitely appreciates that. And I have a wonderful doctor continuously monitoring me to make sure I am in tip-top shape. What more could I ask?

In summary, I love Optifast and I would recommend the program to anyone seeking a serious weight-loss solution. I do think it is worth the cost. Just don't forget your wise "investment" could turn on you if you don't follow the maintenance plan. Stay focused on your healthcare "portfolio" and you'll have an excellent return!

Why, thank you Officer!

My mother and I often joke that at our funerals, all of these people will show up that nobody knows. These are the wonderful folks we know from our errands around town: those working at the grocery, drycleaners, pharmacy, post office, hair salon etc. One of my dearest friends is a Columbus police officer who works various off-duty shifts at my local grocery store. I go there every day to buy ingredients for my husband's dinner and I have known him for years. And yes, he was one of the first to know that I had started Optifast.

Well, I saw him today and he made a point of telling me how noticeable the weight loss was and that he was proud of me. (He also mentioned my baggy clothes -- apparently the dietitian is not the only one who sees this!) I was so touched by his comments. What a wonderful thing to hear. Particularly now, for as you know, I have been struggling with patience as it pertains to my slow loss rate. I thanked him profusely but also reminded him that I'm not done yet. He smiled.

This has me thinking about other uplifting comments I have received about my declining weight. My husband praises me every day -- tonight he mentioned how good my legs are looking. Ooh la la! Although I have not seen them for awhile, my brother and mother receive a weekly update of my progress and support me all the way. I will finally see them on Saturday and I can't wait for them to get a look at me. A thirty pound loss is significant -- I'm sure they will notice!

Interestingly, no one at work has said anything, but there are only five of us and it's a very quiet group. Only one person knows I am on Optifast and she's not sure about it. But that's okay. I suspect everyone can see that I'm shedding weight and to be polite, they don't want to mention it because that might indicate I was too heavy in the first place! So I'll just keep losing and mums the word. Funny how some situations play themselves out.

Tonight I am beaming a bit and actually allowing myself to be pleased with myself. Progress is being made. It's noticeable. And that's a wonderful thing!    

Back To Acceptance

I had a 2 pound loss today, which finally nudged me past the thirty pound loss marker. It has taken 14 weeks to hit this, but I'm now under 210 lbs. I'm almost to my half-way point --200 lbs.--and then it's 40 lbs. to go to reach 160. I've been slow-going the whole way with starts and stops, but I'm hanging in there. One day at a time.

As you can expect, I groused a little bit to the nutritionist about what I keep perceiving to be minimal losses. And yet again, she reminded me that I am right on target with where I should be. She also let me know that my losses are well within the average range so I need to stop worrying. I must sound like a broken record. I really don't know why I am resisting my metabolic realities and forgetting to congratulate myself for any loss at all while on Optifast products. I am putting undue pressure on myself and this really needs to stop. Right now.

Clearly, it's time yet again to focus on how to embrace acceptance. My friend Kathy posted the Serenity Prayer recently and I need to do a repeat here:


God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
The courage to change the things I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.


I have this body. It is responding to the Optifast plan at its own pace. Pound losses are occurring. I have lost substantial inches all over. My bad cholesterol has plummeted. This is something to celebrate.


I can up my exercise regimen. More exercise stimulates metabolism. And I can build an exercise routine for life. I can do it.


There is peace of mind that comes with acceptance. To stop fighting and start embracing is such an easier, softer way to live. I'm really going to work hard on this throughout the months that follow. It's really, really difficult for me -- but awareness of the problem is half the battle. 

The Restaurant

It took three months, but I finally consented to go with my husband to a restaurant. Now, this has been something I really wanted to avoid because I did not want to put myself in the very vulnerable position of seeing and smelling everyone's delicious food, to the point that I caved and ordered something off the menu myself. But he wanted to go out and I knew I'd denied him that experience for a long time. It had to be done.

My strategy was to have my soup and shake before we went. Some take their soup or shake packet with them, but I didn't want to fumble around with that. That's just my own preference. I arrived at the restaurant nice and full -- which was a good thing. When we were given the menus, I gave mine right back and said politely I wasn't dining. I knew even casting a glance at it would start me drooling and fantasizing. Instead, I ordered an iced tea which, thankfully, was delivered quickly.

But things got a little edgy for me when my husband's food arrived. We were at a Middle Eastern place, and I could smell the spices in his dish. I became fixated with his every bite -- and had to force myself to look away. I wouldn't say it was torture. I just realized that I haven't tasted real food in a long time and I wondered what it must be like to chew and swallow. I was glad when he finished and his plate was taken away. I felt I could relax again. So I made it through the restaurant situation. Hooray!

I'm blessed that my husband never pressured me by saying something like, "Hey, it's okay for you to eat with me" or "Here, have a bite!" It was actually quite the opposite. He said, "Food is over-rated." And that made me laugh. In fact, I think if I tried to reach for a nibble, he would have stopped me -- and asked if it was really going to be worth it. And the answer would have been no.

No, I don't think I want to go to another restaurant any time soon, but on the other hand, I really want my husband to have a meal out every now and then. Perhaps now that I have this initial experience, I will be more comfortable the next time. I can't imagine keeping him away from an eating establishment for another three months. That seems like asking too much, and I don't want to do that.

So there will be another restaurant visit in the future. But I can handle it -- because I have a wonderful dining partner.

First Shopping Trip!

So I knew it was finally time to do some shopping when the shorts I was wearing while shopping at Target on Saturday almost fell off. I am not joking -- the only thing that saved me was the long tank top I was wearing, which covered my bum. Fortunately, I was able to catch the shorts before they fell to the floor. Talk about embarrassing! (In a somewhat humorous way.)


I had been told by my dietitian at our meeting last week that my shorts didn't fit and I had to get new ones. But I was holding off on making purchases for as long as possible. Guess I waited too long!

There wasn't much selection at Target, so I took my friend Kathy's advice and went to Walmart. Good move -- not only did they have lots of choices, but the price was right. That's something to keep in mind, as I will be continuing to shrink as the weeks go on, and I don't want to shell out too much cash at this juncture. I must admit, I was a little bit excited. What size would now fit?

I was thrilled to find I have gone down two sizes! Actually, almost three -- I'm in that "in between sizes" range. I was wearing a size 22 pair and I fit comfortably into size 18, and could probably take a 16. But I don't like tight clothes at all, so I purchased three pairs of size 18 shorts for $36.00. Can't beat that! I actually wanted to wear one of the pairs out, but I managed to keep my shorts up until I got home. I then immediately donned a khaki pair and strutted around the house like a proud peacock.

I've still got a ways to go before I reach my healthy, ideal size (12) but I'm slowly getting there. I'm so happy today. And fingers crossed these new shorts won't fall off -- at least for another few weeks!

Maintenance: Some Initial Thoughts

Now that I am comfortably plugging along in my Optifast journey, I have been frequently searching the Internet for tips about how to successfully maintain my goal weight when I complete my program. My clinic provides wonderful information about this, but I like to supplement that with things I find on my own.

Last night, I came upon an article written by Ms. Cara Surdi that was posted on Yahoo. She lost 90 lbs. in 6 months on the Optifast plan. Here's an excerpt:


"It has been 6 years since I did the Optifast and yes, I have gained it all back. The reason why I gained the weight back wasn't because the Optifast diet didn't work, it was because of myself. I lost sight of the importance of exercise and eating right. I gained a little here and there and wasn't too concerned. I would love to do Optifast again, but you really have to mentally prepare yourself. You have to be determined and not allow anything get in your way. For those of you struggling on any diet, it isn't the diet's fault that you didn't lose weight or keep it off; it is about self-love and dedication to living a healthier lifestyle. I think we all know this, but do not like to be held accountable for it."


I seem to be hearing this sort of tale frequently. Significant weight loss whilst on Optifast inevitably followed by weight gain once you stop the program. But I like Ms. Surdi's honesty here: She does not blame our program, rather points to a lapse in the participant's desire for and dedication to a healthy lifestyle.  This leads me to wonder: Will this happen to me? Will I crumble and undo all my hard work to shed this weight? Can I really buck this trend of gaining all the weight back?


Now, I want to be very careful here about going down that path of worrying about failure in the future. I've mentioned before my belief that staying in the present serves us the best right now in this point and time in our programs. But the fact remains that we are going to have some work ahead of us when it comes to keeping our weight off, and in my case, I'm going to have to make some serious changes in how I prepare and eat my food. I have to also embrace exercise as part of my daily routine. And this, right now, seems like a huge challenge. 


Fortunately, we have people blogging right now who have completed the program and have moved into the maintenance phase. Some insight can be gained from them. To the right of this page you will see a link to the blog "New Day Coming" and there is wonderful, motivating information there. I also came across an article a few weeks ago in the New York Times about a couple who completed the Optifast program and are successfully keeping the weight off. But know that in their case, they strictly adhere to a rigid diet and exercise regime. All food is measured or weighed. They do meticulous calorie counting. I would call them religious about their exercise routine. Which begs the question: Do we have to go that far too?


But again, let's not get too ahead of ourselves, rather just remain aware that some work is ahead of us. I think this is the best strategy right now. Today I continue with my program, and try to incorporate my exercise, and continue with my own research of good eating strategies.  That's enough to handle right now.